COUNSELING

Tonight I had dinner with three widows (we call ourselves the South Maui Merry Widows) to participate in Dine Out for Maui Hospice.  It was great to go out to a restaurant with company.  It was even better to share how to hike the widow path.

I'm not big on group therapy and sharing.  For me, I'm better in one-on-one.  The four of us are all in different stages of loss ... seven years, four years, and two of us less than a year.  Somehow learning of others' experiences makes more of an impact on me and how I am fumbling along.  Each journey is different and individual but hearing stories from those who have traveled along is helpful.

Two of Ralph's childhood buddies died within 18 months of him.  I was lucky enough to become friends with their wives many years ago despite one living in Florida and one in Indiana.  One couple visited us in Maui for two weeks.  And we got to visit each on their home turf.  So I have two other resources.

The most curious thing I learned?  Each and every widow  remembers the whole painful trek.  No matter what stage they are in.  Sharing and understanding.

Peer counseling is good for me.  I hope I am able to pay it forward when the time comes.