SIX MONTHS on my own

Today marks the the six month anniversary of Mr. Ralph's death.  In some ways, it seems like just yesterday we were sipping coffee on our back deck planning our day.  Mostly it feels like the most confusing whirlwind of emotions.  When people ask how I'm doing, I can honestly say as well as expected.  Because I have learned to not expect any thing.  Each day is what it is.

I do notice that I have more happy moments than I used to.  So all the talk of time helping to heal my broken heart might just be true.  I'm pretty sure there will always be a big scar but eventually it may stop hurting if it heals properly.

Some widow friends talk about seeing or feeling their husbands.  I am pretty skeptical about that although I often get signs that Mr. Ralph is nearby.  Yesterday I got my hair cut (yes, and colored) and Lesa was so excited to show me something on her iPhone.  Oh, how the universe works!  She is thinking of replacing her seven year old car and was looking online when she discovered an Acura of Maui commercial ...

http://youtu.be/5VEXDchZOV8

with a small glimpse of my very handsome guy proclaiming he loves Acura.  (I was seriously thinking of trading in the MDX for something smaller but I think that was an omen to just keep the big SUV!!!!)

Tonight I'll raise a toast of his favorite single malt Scotch, Oban.  To a wonderful man, husband, dad and friend.  Join me!