Vulnerable. This is the most uncomfortable of all feelings for me. Susceptible. Worried. Not in control. And this is EXACTLY how I feel right now.
Once you have a loss, you take the time to learn about grief. Some say there are five stages, some say there are seven. Whatever. Even though I had a couple of years to get through the "anger" stage (as we heard the diagnosis aggressive prostate cancer in 2010) the rest of the stages seem never ending. Denial and isolation. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Apparently these stages do not necessarily arrive in any order. There is no time limit on getting through any of these.
But nobody mentioned this vulnerable stuff.
A kind friend recently turned me on to Brene Brown. I've listened to her TED Houston talk. I "liked" her Facebook page. I enjoy learning from her.
I think sometimes what I need is a big hug. And a bit of courage.
Asking what what we need is one of the hardest things in the world for me to do, too. We like to think of yourselves as independent, in charge women and asking flies in the face of that image we have of ourselves. But I guess it shouldn't. We all need help from time to time even if we don't like the asking part.
ReplyDeleteAsking is difficult. But today I asked for a hug. Twice. And was well rewarded. I think I'll MAKE myself ask for something every day. Practice?
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