Leave it to Stevie. She puts such a positive spin on things ... especially for everyone else! She deserves the positives more than any of us. While I named my blog The Awkward Widow, today she called me The Independent Individual. Not Suddenly Single. Not Black Widow. Not a Bereavement Blond. An Independent Individual!!
Now I have a lot to live up to. Independent Individual. In the past I’d always considered myself “independent” but after losing Ralph, I realize how dependent on him I’ve been. Having a sidekick made me braver. It got me out of my comfort zone as I knew there was a snuggly place to land. These days my stomach is on edge a lot of the time. I have to force myself out of the house. I have even learned to invite myself sometimes! (People need to be brave enough to say NO if they really don’t want me along!!)
Individual. The past few months I’ve been working on my relationship with Grief. It’s an interesting journey. It is very individual. Some widow friends have not cleared out their husbands clothing after three years (my house is tiny and I had the excuse of new closet installation to hurry me along). Some widows are out and about with men friends after a few months. We are all individuals doing this our way. There is NO right or wrong. There is no time limit on grief.
Some days it’s not so bad at all! My good memories make me smile. Other days, those good memories just make me cry all day. The comfort food frenzy is really starting to show. It’s up to me, myself and I to become an individual and take back my life.