This month the lead article is "Mourn the Small Community You Built." It was filled with odd bits of information/insight. I have been having trouble lately feeling sadder than what I expected. (Not that anything can prepare you for losing 30 years of love). I sure do miss him.
I miss him doing his part of our day to day living. He loved puttering around in the yard. Designing. Building. Planting. Fertilizing. Watering. Pruning. Puttering.
He was wise enough to put an individual drip watering system to each plant. (I'm not that reliable!) And I don't enjoy keeping up with the plants nearly as much as he did. He designed and built the "fence art" as the morning sun reflecting off that white plastic fence would blind us as we enjoyed our morning coffee.
He put up shelves and added door stops. He kept the bikes humming along. The TV and stereo sound system is a mystery to me. How do I reprogram the garage door keypad.
The car was his domain. Even though our car is 7 years old, Acura is very reliable. But he was the one who remembered to have the tires rotated, the oil changed, the tune ups. So of course, since his death I've had several incidents with the car. All minor. But when indicator lights come on I assume trouble and expense. And once my key would not turn on the engine.
I've lost so much more than a friend and a lover.
People don't realize the wide spread tiny losses we endure when someone passes away that keep reminding us of our bigger losses. Hang in there, it does get easier in time.
ReplyDeleteYour deck looks like an advertisement for a classy travel destination! Your husband was very talented.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your words of encouragement. Most of the items in our outdoor living/dining room are from Home Depot and VERY affordable! And I'm in love with electric candles.
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