Saturday, February 7, 2015


I'll be the first one to admit this second year of being a widow was harder than the first year.  I think the first year is simply autopilot.  Honestly thinking it was all just a big mistake ... he's just on a business trip.

The second year is trying to figure out who I am without him.  Even though he was 18 years older than me, I never really thought about life without him.  He was in much better physical shape than me.  Which is why dying of prostate cancer (which most people diagnosed with end up dying of something else) sucks.  Fortunately for him, he had enough time and enough energy, to get his little Maui house together ... better than he expected.

This Maui neighborhood has about 110 homes.  Sidewalk on each of the three streets and the outer perimeter circle.  I do a walk about every other day or so and about once a week I park on the front lanai to see what's happening.  Today I met another widow.

She moved here in September.  Her husband died of a heart attack, at home.  Eight years ago.  We had a nice long conversation and exchanged email and phone numbers.  She's lucky enough to have a little Havanese dog named Jody ... which is how we met ... she was out walking her!  

My friends/neighbors/caretakers sold their house to another widow!  We all seem to be close in age so we may just start the Piilani Village II Widow Club.  Good to have mentors in this journey.

I wanted to use the graphic below but when I looked it up ....

A container of three REUSABLE actual rubber condoms!  
From the 1920's


  1. If my husband saw that condom tine, he'd want it. That's one of the many things he collected. In good condition with the contents still inside it would bring $50 to $60 dollars.

    My second years of widowhood was harder than the first, too. But you are moving forward and in record speed. If you're like me you'll come to a point where you start questioning if you're forcing that speed and need to just breathe and not try so hard.

    You must be the most outgoing person to meet. You collect friends where ever you go! I'm impressed.

  2. That condom graphic is so funny! What does it take to make a widow merry? Three Reusable Men. Ditch the condoms. We can't get pregnant!

    This journey to figure out who we are is a terrific (or should I say terrifying?) one. Yes, at some point we realize the door to the past is permanently locked and the wind is howling through the door to our future. Best wishes to you - you've got what it takes to face anything.


  3. The second year was the pits!!!The realization year, I called it. Like you said, the first year is just sort of floating along--not remembering much of that year--I wasn't quire all here. I was somewhere, but I don't know where. The second year came with the full realization that Fred was gone--never to be seen or heard from again. The third year--memories start to fade. I have to confess, days go by and I don't even think about Fred. Last night was NOT one of those days--for some reason he came to mind, so I cried a bit. I have had an eye irritation so I figured it was good to cleanse out my eyes with tears. Condoms? I love the little tin box--what a great conversation piece to have sitting on ones table?

  4. Reusable?!? Gross! LOL

    Maybe I should get a dog. That is a good way to meet people. :) It sounds like you have a very nice neighborhood.