Saturday, February 14, 2015

THE REAL RULES OF GRIEF

Most of the widows I know understand that grief is forever.  Maybe the overwhelming days are further apart, but we still experience them.  Kind of like a hole in the wall ... eventually you spackle, smooth and paint ... but you can still see and feel what had happened there.  And remember.  You always remember.


I saw this on a Facebook page and it really just sums it all up.  For me.  Today.  It never goes away.  I don't know how the spouse feels when they marry someone who lost a spouse.  Knowing their new spouse will always love another person.  Nothing they can do about it.  Nothing to be jealous of.  But "it" will always be there.  

Not sure I could ever love anyone else because I know how much I will always love Mr. Ralph.  At this point in my life, I couldn't love anyone who lost their love ... something would just be missing.

5 comments:

  1. Not all marriages are equal so I guess some people could/do remarry successfully without living with ghosts. Not me, not ever. I also think there are some people who are less independent than you (or me) who just can't function without someone else to share the load and they will settle into a second marriage quicker than others. I guess the only rule we need to know is that there are no rules.

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  2. From my experience--men seem to want/need to marry again, quickly. I don't know why. To immerse themselves in someone new so they won't feel their grief so much? Better to date a divorced man--he has NO good memories of his wife, LOL.

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    Replies
    1. I agree that men need women more than most women need men. Ha ha ha ... divorced men!!!!

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  3. A couple of years after losing her husband, my sister married a man whose wife had died a couple of years earlier. There's no doubt that their marriage to each other is different than their marriages with their previous spouses. I do see that they have companionship and are devoted to one another, though. I've had a very long marriage and cannot imagine being with another man, but I guess that's hard for most people to imagine while their husband is still alive. My health is not as good as my husband's, and I do think about life for him if I go first. But you know how life is. You never know who will go first. Still, I can't wear your shoes, but I can certainly understand your take on this. I feel very much the same way.

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