But coping is a lot of work. I try to make sure I have something to do every day. Physically and socially. Educationally and emotionally. Every thing is a conscious effort. Every single thing takes effort!
I no longer stay home most of the time. Every day I get outside for some reason. Water aerobics three times a week. If someone invites me, I go. I say yes more than no. I connect with perfect strangers.
All of this is good. Great, even. I have to admit I take a nap almost every day. And I sleep 8 or 9 hours. That's how I cope.
Your plan for healing is a good one. Staying busy, pushing forward through the tears. Pushing to connect with others. It gets easier and "less forced" in time. I can't say I've found total contentment yet but then I'm not sure I ever had it in the first place.
ReplyDeleteWho knew it would be "WORK" just to be happy? But I was very content my whole life. Total optimist. I know it will come back ... but I sure miss the real me.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I've been learning that happiness IS work, like every other choice. What I never knew is that happiness is a choice, or that I even had a choice in many things. That is the lesson the last five years has brought me--my obligation to choose.
ReplyDeleteYeh, my BAD for forgetting. But really, anything worth having takes a bit of work. Marriage, happiness, friendship, thinness!!!
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