Wow. It is hard to comprehend Mr. Ralph has been dead for seven months. Somehow I am struggling through the phases of grief although sometimes not very well. Most of the stages keep recurring. Often I just feel a bit insane. Which apparently is NORMAL. I've come up with a simple response when people ask me how I'm doing (I'm pretty sure most of them don't really want to KNOW). Now I say "I'm doing okay."
What I'm doing is taking each day as it arrives. I am doing better keeping busy and exercising. I've discovered that I am shy ... more so than I thought. I'm learning to initiate conversations with unknown people. Not every chat has to lead to a fast and furious friendship. Maui is a transient island with lots of people who live here just part of the year (I hope I get to be one of those!) and people who live here for a short time. We have lots of tourists as well. Of course there are long term residents as well.
I'm very blessed these last few months to have friends who are sharing their friends with me. Even my Portland friend who is visiting for this holiday has introduced me to some local ladies who she met on the beach when she borrowed our house two years ago! Socializing is really important for this human.
I'm feeling more hopeful.
Sounds like your widowhood journey is right on track...if there is such a thing. I would think it's actually easier to make friends in a transient environment than elsewhere because no one has their core of friends and family "back up" nearby for when they need human contact.
ReplyDeleteIn my first year I struggled so much with a decision to move to the other end of town or not that I can't image how hard it is to decide between Maui and the mainland. For me, it was a good think to wait until that first year was completed to make that decision. It saved me from a trajectory I would have regretted.
Keep that hope alive!
Maybe you are RIGHT about other people on Maui needing friends (or even acquaintances) for the same reason I do! I never thought about that. I think I need to stop trying to make deep, long lasting friends ... and just have fun with friendly people!
DeleteHave you moved yet? I do think I need to try to keep life "normal" for a while until I really know myself. The Maui HOA requires a minimum of a 6 month lease to avoid the neighborhood from becoming a vacation rental situation. I'm going to spread the word and maybe rent for the last half of each year, then I can come over for a month or perhaps six!