Friday, January 31, 2014

MISSING MY MAN

Happy birthday, Mr. Ralph.  Today you would be 80 years young.  You deserved to live to 101!!  Stinking cancer.

For some reason this "holiday" is really rough.  On me AND our daughter.  Today she posted on her FB about how much she misses you.  We talked about how to celebrate.  She is taking Braeden to Honey Baked Ham for lunch.  For dinner she is making your favorite ... Eggs Benedict.  With key lime pie.  You would really have loved that!

We are going to Facetime tomorrow and she informed me it is OK to cry in front of Braeden.  She is teaching him about emotions.  How to identify them, name them and find a way to empathize.  If he is angry, how to acknowledge it and then move past.  We have raised a pretty great kid (although sometimes we sure didn't think so!!).

Although SHE is very good with me being emotional, I'm thinking I may not celebrate at a restaurant.  I'm just not sure how other patrons would take to seeing me cry ... for no apparent reason.  Actually today was pretty emotional for me.  I have so many happy happy memories of celebrating your birthday.  Our favorite restaurants.  Making your Mom's beef stew recipe.  Going to the Oregon coast.  Or Sunriver.  And recently Maui.  I especially remember last year's celebration with Jim and Carrie and Gary and Leilani.  

I also remember your plans with your grade school buddy Pat ... two old Geezers were going to take a vacation together to celebrate being 80.  Then he died two months before you.  It was so awesome that he called you the night before he died to say goodbye.  And apologize for screwing up the birthday plans!  You Indiana boys are something special.



But I promise to eat a donut for you!

6 comments:

  1. I couldn't do the 'favorite things' to acknowledge Don's birthday so I started a brand new tradition to do for his birthday and our anniversary which are in the same week. Whatever it takes to get you through is the right thing for you. Hugs.

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    1. I was mostly a hermit...although I did go out for a sunset viewing and got a great pic. And had a tiny glass of Scotch at bedtime ... his favorite!

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  2. Such loss and how beautifully you acknowledge it here. Thinking of you and wishing for better days ahead.

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    1. Thank you. The days are mostly getting better. Somehow when you are living with someone, you don't realize how much the little things really matter. And how much you will miss them!

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  3. I'm so sorry he isn't with you. Oh! This widowhood thing isn't easy. Crying in a restaurant? Who cares? Tears are God's gift, where ever they fall.

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    1. I sure do miss our little quirky habits! We always made things positive ... together. Instead of running "errands" on the weekend, we called it our Sat morning date. Stopped and got a coffee and did everything together. At times I thought we should divide and conquer ... but now I'm glad we didn't. Just those little togetherness times that I'm really missing.....

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