Wednesday, August 20, 2014

AWKWARDLY DATING

No.  Not me.  Never say never but honestly it hasn't crossed my mind.

I'm very concerned about my friend.  Remember the one who gave her entire 401(k) to a boyfriend .... starting just weeks after meeting him.  And she continued and continued and continued until her $100,000 was gone.  She thinks he will pay her back but honestly, I think she knows it's all talk.

Before she had even fully let him go, she began her online dating again.  She rushed into a relationship way too quickly (in my humble opinion).  Too much too soon.  Including meeting his kids.  Which is a giant no no until you have been dating at least 6 months ... or more.  And this guy was not even divorced yet!  Six weeks later it was over and she was devastated.

Until the next week when she met the next guy.  Began spending the night at his house with his 13 year old daughter there.  Including her on their "dates" which only made the poor kid even more uncomfortable.  Six weeks later, it was over. And she was devastated.

She had been trying to get together with me these past six weeks but I finally had to take a stand.  There was never a good opening to explain my feeling about not wanting to meet these passing flings.  This weekend I got my chance.

I hope I worded it with the least amount of pain for her.  She is addicted to having a man in her life.  She is gorgeous.  She is smart.  She is in great shape.  She doesn't NEED a man in her life!  I wish she could see that what she has been doing these past months (maybe longer?) isn't working for her.  I hope she will take a year off from men.

I just want my friend back.




4 comments:

  1. My head's spinning with this woman. This poor dear! You, kiddo, are a voice of sanity. Will she wake up?!? I can kind of relate to that desperation - used to feel that desperation, or, er, orientation - and got it out of my system. Hope she listens to you!

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  2. I have a widow friend who is acting the same way minus giving guys her money. She doesn't have any or she probably would. She lets guys move in with her after just a few weeks/months of "talking" online and is always shocked with these things fall apart after a few months. Then off she goes online again and it starts all over again.

    I just don't get that kind of desperation to be with a man...maybe because I never, ever defined myself as a wife and homemaker?

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  3. I watched a friend go through this after a divorce. It's as if they cannot bear to be alone. And we are powerless to help our friends. They have to come to their senses on her own.

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  4. She may be gorgeous and smart, but I think she had no self esteem or any trace of independence. Too bad, isn't it?

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