Friday, August 29, 2014

AWKWARD WIDOW and her MONEY

My financial plan is to have enough money to last a day longer than I do.  That's my worst case scenario.  In my dreams I would like to be able to pay for college for the two babies.

I grew up rather poor in Columbus, Ohio.  Six children.  Same house until both of my parents died.  Secure but not much money.  It was a great childhood, in my mind, because my Mom spent all of her time with us!  She would play games with us or read to us until she declared "oh my gosh, look at the time!"  Then we would all pitch in to tidy up and get dinner going before Dad got home.

All six of us love to cook.  Because she liked to cook.  It's hard to imagine liking to cook for that many people every day.  She even packed our lunches!  She loved trying out new recipes.  We were lucky she tried making egg rolls and egg foo yung.  She experimented with German food.  Budget gourmet food.  And no microwave back then.  I digress.

They survived on only Social Security and $300/month pension from the Carpenter's Union.  A few of us would find ways to send them money each month (maybe in a card saying Happy Ground Hog Day).  I have just one kidult and don't want to think that she might have to financially give me a hand.

Luckily, Ralph had a 401(k) and we saved his Social Security since he worked full time until age 76.  I have a nice nest egg.  But I am so risk adverse ... or maybe emotionally ill equipped to make money decisions ... so today I met with a financial planner.  I know I would like the help.  But I had NO IDEA how much babysitting me would cost each month.



Next appointment is with a fee only, hourly rate (that still makes my head spin), financial advisor to see if I can have someone to bounce ideas with.  And I can do the actual work.

Stay tuned.

8 comments:

  1. The world of money at our ages is so damn scary! And my trust level is low.

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    1. My trust level is also low. The scam artist who "borrowed" my friend's IRS is a financial advisor ... a friend who is a financial advisor just filed bankruptcy. So I really am nervous!

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  2. You are fortunate, with enough money to outlast you, if even by one day. LOL Early on, with the same situation as you, a trusted friend of my late husband told me about his independent financial manager. He trusted her so much, he named her guardian of his autistic children should something happen to him and his wife. She lives in Salty Lake City, thousands of miles from me, but of course I met with her before deciding to entrust my $$ security to her. I did. Nine years later: I still sleep like a baby, and justify her expense by saying it equals therapy or anti anxiety medication or a spa vacation! Should something happen to her, my accounts could go on autopilot for a year while I shop around.

    Perhaps word of mouth will lead you to someone you'd feel so comfortable with, you'd invited her into your family : -) I hope so. Good luck to you.

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    1. Is your wonder woman fee based or hourly? Has your net worth gone up because of her more than her fee costs you?

      I have only paid to have our taxes done for maybe 4 years ... now I do it myself on TurboTax. It IS anxiety! I just want this nest egg to last long enough. Most of my friends pay the 1% because they have ten times as much as I do. What to do, what to do!????!!!!

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    2. I can't quite tell where the decimal point is in your own situation, and I just make it into the high net worth category, so my fee is set up much like your friends. It's well worth it. My net worth is supporting 2/3 of my living expenses, and my assets have gone up, after taking a hit, in 2009.

      Oh gosh, I had such anxiety with Turbo Tax, too. I have enough anxiety in my life already, LOL. Between being almost totally right brained (creative and non logical) and busy with creative projects, I decided to swallow an accountant's expense, too.

      One of your friends trusted advisors might take you on, or at least counsel you. Only you know which anxiety you can tolerate;, for anxiety seems to come with widowhood...

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    3. I think I was born with anxiety. I grew up with so little that I'm paranoid I'll end there again. Don't need to be rich but enough to live a little!

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  3. This all makes me nervous, too. We have a 401K that we haven't touched, and we need to start taking it out in less than three years. What to do, indeed. I'm sure this is a big concern for a lot of people.

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    1. I just don't want to make a MISTAKE with money! It's crazy. I'm pretty smart and can do the research ... I'm just chicken

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