Wednesday, July 30, 2014

BEING AN AWKWARD WIDOW

As you might imagine, being a widow has brought a lot of changes to my life.  The sadness of missing him will always be there although the crying and depression are easing up.  Grief is a forever journey.

I have to say I feel pretty "free" about living, knowing everything that is on the calendar was put there by me.  My sleep schedule is totally not that of the typical senior citizen (although what IS typical?).  Usually I stay up too late and sleep my 8-9 hours.  I have turned into my parents having a S-L-O-W start with coffee and news and email and Facebook.  And then my volunteer duties.

But I manage to pack in many fun things into most every day.  A leisurely walk around the complex chatting with neighbors or just waving "hi" to them.  Going to the library usually followed by a trip to a coffee shop to get a start on my book.  Swimming and enjoying the Vitamin D poolside.  Often there is an errand to run or household chores to accomplish.  Call me crazy, but I even enjoy ironing!

My sister gave me a great book for my birthday last year (or was the two years ago ....) about living stronger, longer and happier (Master Class, by VP of Road Scholar, Peter Spieres).  The 50+ crowd should evaluate our schedule to ensure we include physical, mental, social and creative activities.  Some activities include all of these angles.

Mostly, I'm happier than I have any right to be.  I hope it is because I found the best combination of hustle and bustle things and restorative things.  It's time for me to add another creative outlet (besides cooking ... which I love!).

I'm an avid Facebook member and today's quote from Humans from New York just sums it up for me.

"I underestimated the pleasures of an unstructured life.”


6 comments:

  1. Great post! Do you think you'd be doing as well if you weren't taking Celexia? That stuff seems to be a miracle drug when it comes to creating upbeat and happy people.

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  2. I don't know how much is Celexa. My dose is lowered to 20 mg. I don't seem to have any side effects so she will always be my companion. I never want to fall down that hole again!

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  3. "I underestimated the pleasures of an unstructured life." That's my experience, too. You've tailored your life to suit your personality so well. Yay!

    I was on an antidepressant, Lexapro, for the first five years and marveled how well I was taking his absence. Then I got off. I guess I didn't want to hand over responsibility for my happiness to a little pill, if I could create a happy life without it. I needed to find out. I was amazed how much more vivid my feelings became. Cried for months. Being on and off was like the difference between wearing ear plugs and not wearing them. If you do decide to get off, know that the rabbit hole only lasts a little while. Then the sun comes out.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Glo! As with anything worthwhile, I invest time and energy into my lifestyle. The book MASTER CLASS has given me much food for thought. And teaching me a little more about myself.

      As for pharmaceutical assistance ... I believe that my brain chemistry has changed over time with age and menopause and whatever else. There is no shame in getting help. Celexa is my insulin for living my unstructured life!

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  4. I relate to this post in a big way. Even though we "officially" retired a decade ago, my husband continued to work part time, and I was caregiver to my father until recently, but we now live a truly unstructured life. Isn't it such a gift to be able to direct your day without restrictions. I'm glad you're enjoying your days, your life, and how good it is that you recognize what a great thing that is.

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  5. I relate to this post in a big way. Even though we "officially" retired a decade ago, my husband continued to work part time, and I was caregiver to my father until recently, but we now live a truly unstructured life. Isn't it such a gift to be able to direct your day without restrictions. I'm glad you're enjoying your days, your life, and how good it is that you recognize what a great thing that is.

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