Second Guesses, Second Firsts

Every time I make a decision, not matter how large or how small, I end up making myself sick with anxiety second guessing.  Honestly!  Where have I gone?  I was the blond, confident oldest daughter of six kids.  The first to move out of state.  The only one to get a divorce.  I started a ladies investment club (after reading about the Beardstown Ladies) knowing NOTHING about stocks or investing.  Sheesh!  Where am I?

Maybe this is awkwardly normal for widows?  It is for me.  Luckily I am giving myself permission to change my mind.  Family and friends are seriously shaking their heads these days.  But this too shall pass.

And now to have second firsts.  My first venture in buying a car on my own (for the Portland condo).  Actually, probably a minivan because they are so easy to get in and out of.  And with grandson(s), easier for car seats and booster seats and me getting inside out of the rain to get them buckled into said car seats.  My first time ever buying a bed (I gave away our old king bed that has been in storage in Portland)(it had two permanent burrows). My first new holiday celebrations.  Obviously they are not going to be traditions as I will probably be doing holidays in Portland from now on.

Things to do, places to see.  Second guesses and second firsts.