Friday, July 24, 2015

MARRY IN HASTE

Yesterday I had lunch with a Portland friend and after discussing our little lives for hours, she asked if I had any interest in dating.  Nope.  I sure don't.  Not now anyway.  I'm not sure why but I'm feeling happy and fulfilled with family and participating in both of my communities.

In the beginning of my widowhood, MANY MANY people asked about me dating.  So totally too early to even think about.  Now a few friends ask but no one is trying to set me up.  (P.S.  IF I ever want to date, or have help finding dates, I will let you know!)

Every widow progresses at her own rate.  My Colorado buddy dated a few years after her mate died.  She knew him from way back and she spent a great amount of time getting to know him. Not really as a potential mate, as he wasn't as willing to compromise on life as much as she felt she was, so he is now back to being a good friend. And occasional lover.




A good acquaintance (high school buddy) was widowed for maybe a year or two when she went online to date.  She was totally unhappy living on her own ... in fact, had moved in with her brother-in-law and family.  She is still working full time (which would keep me busier than I would want to be!) as she is ten years younger.

She met a special someone and they had email conversations and phone conversations and finally a date.  Three weeks later she moved in with him.  A few months later they married.  A year later they are divorced.  We chat via email but I'm waiting for her to bring up this topic.  Not mine to pry.

I am just not interested.  For physical needs, I bought a male order husband from Pure Romance.  That's another blog ....

5 comments:

  1. I just don't get the hurry-up-and-get-remarried thing that some widows jump into How can you really get to know someone in just a few weeks? Not for me. Don and I worked to hard to get what we had and I'm not going to chance losing it to some guy who may or may not have been putting on a good act.

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    1. Money certainly is a concern ... more than that ... I think I would just feel AWKWARD putting my old wrinkled body out there ...

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  2. I knew my 2nd husband 3 months, when we married.He was kind, loving and well balanced, until our wedding night--when he gave me my first black eye--took my car and left me in a hotel room alone for 26 hours. I have used the phrase above often. DO NOT ever marry because of fear or loneliness!!!!!

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    1. Oh my! How quickly did you get rid of THAT? I have had two wonderful husbands. It just feels right to not jinx that!

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  3. "Not mine to pry" is prudent. I have an elderly aunt who asks the questions that no one else would. She doesn't know any better, but that's another story. I remember when, about a year after my sister's husband died, she asked her if she was seeing anyone. I silently gasped. She was my sister, but I never asked her. I knew she wasn't anywhere near ready. She did meet a great guy eventually. I'm not sure why people think they can weigh in on such things. I'm sure they think they're "helping."

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