Wednesday, September 3, 2014

SIXTEEN MONTHS OF WIDOWHOOD

September 2, 2014.  Yesterday marked 16 months since my guy got his wings.  I still miss him like crazy.  I'm always amazed how I feel on each monthly missing.  I try to take a few moments to remember and love ... and know I'm able to survive without him physically here.  




I'm a little jealous of my widow friends who have dreams about their missing man.  I've only had one.  And I wish I would have more.  Every time I see Braeden's face, at a certain angle, he looks exactly like his Poppa.  He usually has a few comments about Poppa every time I see him.  I wish Poppa didn't die.  Do you think Poppa remembers me?  Do you cry for Poppa?  Out of the mouths of babes.

Kate encourages me to let him see me cry and to tell him why.  Emotions are normal parts of being human.  And somehow I always manage to end on a fun, positive note about his infamous Poppa.  How can he remember so much when Poppa left before he was three?




It's just another miracle, in my mind.  That man will never be forgotten!

6 comments:

  1. It's amazing that your grandson can still remember your husband and still talks about him. He's so young! Maybe your husband's spirit is still hanging around the little guy because he thinks he needs his grandfather a little longer. You, he knows will be fine in time.

    Hugs on this special anniversary.....

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    1. Thank you for the hugs! We do talk about Poppa a lot and show photos of them together.

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  2. I felt the second year was the hardest. That first year seems to be foggy and not being totally "here", and just surviving. The second years seemed to be reality, losing the sound of his voice and laughter, and figuring out what to do next. Only 16 months--not really very long. I think your Grandson remembers because you all talk about Poppa and help keep his memory alive. Maybe there are pictures he sees and that helps me remember? It's a love thing for sure.

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    1. Thank you for this. Sometimes I think I'm crazy because it DOES seem harder this year. People expect me to be "over it" ... there is no OVER it. Thankfully we have tons of pics of Poppa with Braeden. Starting at birth!

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  3. Sorry--I meant "helps HIM remember?"

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  4. I've wondered about the memories of young children. We lived a very long distance from our grands when they were young. It's wonderful that Braeden remembers Poppa, and feels free to talk about him. Poppa may still be looking out for him.

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