Sunday, May 24, 2015


It's not easy to feel sad living in a home with two little boys and a big dog.  I don't even have time to change my mind most days!  

Poor Mr. Ralph doesn't even HAVE a grave to decorate or tend.  I've been thinking of buying a spot to park some ashes for future generations.  Boy what a racket THAT is!  Buying the niche (does your loved one want a view?  Really?????), buying the urn in which to put him.  Do I host him in Portland or Maui or both?  What about his home town?  Or all three?

Or ... should I have him made into a diamond and wear him around?  I always told him I found him as a lump of coal and if I continued to put a lot of pressure on him, some day ....

Ugh. Too much to think about and to plan.  

Kate and I each have tiny urn of ashes and the big bag is currently in Portland.  I suppose it makes more sense to put him to rest here and just keep a bit in Maui with me.  It's been two years and we haven't had any sprinklings anywhere!

I just know I don't need a special day to remember him.  I think of him every day.  The sad days are fewer and fewer.  I'm grateful of how many people feel comfortable talking about him.  That way I get to remember the good things.  When Kate and I are having really sad days, we bring up some of his idiosyncrasies that make us laugh (now).  

He is still our hero. 


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  2. At least you have your daughter to tend to his bag of ashes when you're gone. With Don and me not having kids, ashes might just end up in the trash after I'm gone so it made no sense to not do something with them. I would hate that! I have a tiny urn 3" urn left but I'm leaving instructions for that one to be buried with my ashes. Here we don't need to buy urns, they can use the plastic box they come to bury the ashes in which is what I did.

    Whatever you end up doing, will be the right thing for you and your family.

  3. So you found him when he was still a lump of coal? That's a good one. I tell my husband similar things. Like Jean, I'm sure that whatever you decide to do will be right for you and your family. I'm glad that your sad days are fewer and that people feel free to talk s out him to you. So often, people are afraid to say anything.

  4. Fred's kids didn't even want part of his ashes. So I had the heavy bag all to myself. I finally got him a marker and "planted" on the side of my family plot. My Dad, my sister and I all loved him, so he is going to be with friends for eternity.