Friday, June 20, 2014

SEX AND THE AWKWARD WIDOW

My dear blogger, The Misadventures of Widowhood, used the word SEX in her title recently.  Often I think people actually open a post based on the title.  Now I can wonder how many weirdos will find this blog ....

It is a delicate topic.  Old ladies are really not supposed to think of such things, let alone talk about this taboo subject.  Let’s be frank here.  Craving sex and cuddles is a normal human thing, right?  Not a horrible deviant desire.  But particularly if you're a woman, it seems all the wrong way round.  I don’t want to “date” at this stage (and I’m not really I sure I ever will) and I'm pretty sure I'm not a hook up for the night kinda gal.  I know this is not a feminist statement ... but remember my age.

Crave a drink and you can glug down a bottle of wine;  crave a cream puff and you can buy one and shove it in your face. But if all I want is cuddles, I’ve been reading about some unsexual substitutes for that physical craving of touch.  


I can probably up my physical contact with other people by about 100 per cent if I set my mind to it, without involving men at all.  Maybe I could book a massage twice a month (surely there is a massage school in this area!).  Even a pedicure or a foot rub can be over the top!

Also, I love having the grandkids over. Braeden still likes snuggles and tickles and Deacon prefers to be ON his humans.  This is at least once a week.  In addition, I now feel way more comfortable hugging my friends hello!  Ladies or gentlemen.  Even people who still have a sex life often enjoy a hug of affection.

As for the real McCoy ... gosh there are some amazing gadgets out there for self pleasure!  But will they sell my name and contact information and start sending me x-rated email?  How does a dignified horny gal get hold of such things? Safely?

Oh please, Amazon ... can you deliver in a brown paper package ...


6 comments:

  1. Oh, my gosh, you make me laugh!----especially your two photos. Is there really a book by that title? You know, you could always put on a long trench-coat and cover your head with its hood, then go into an x-rated theater. They sell sex toys in the lobbies or so I am told. Bring untraceable cash. You could also sign up for the sex toy parties that work like Tupperware parties---I think they're actually called romance ? something. You see them advertised on late night TV. Get a bunch of wine and invite your friends. LOL

    Your Feedjit is going to start showing some foreign flags with a title like that! Sounds like of x-rated.

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    1. YOU started it!!! I don't know if that is really a book ... but I've never been artsy craftsy so I doubt I'd try to make something THIS important!

      I've thought about going into an adult "toy" store and just saying I was buying a gift for a divorce party .... I'm sure they get all sorts of stories saying it's for someone else!!

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  2. They think because we're old we're dead. You're hilarious. I was laughing so hard, but it's true that no one talks openly about this, and why shouldn't we? I read somewhere that people need to be touched, and when they don't get enough hugs or plain, old touching, they actually begin bumping into furniture. Save your furniture. Try Amazon.

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  3. I really enjoyed reading this post! Curious as I am, I could not resist looking up this very book on Amazon. Indeed, this really exists. As well as a book called Pornogami, A Guide to the Ancient Art of Paper-Folding for Adults.
    So maybe before getting into a full blown adventure you could check out the potential targets by inviting them to do some crafting. This is so much more innocent ....

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    1. Oh Harald!!! That is a super great idea! Ah ha ha ha!!!

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