SEX TOYS FOR WIDOWS

Veggetti.  When I first heard about this, it was pronounced "vagetti" almost like Oprah's vajayjay.  Titillating for sure!

It's a spiralizer for the kitchen.  Supposedly you can turn a zucchini (they are now in the give away stage ....) into "noodles" which are very low carb.  Now two of my cooking friends own one.

Both have only done zucchini but of course, Google has shown me so much more!  Apples, beets, squash, potatoes, cucumbers, onions, pears ....

Now my dilemma.  Should I jump on the bandwagon?  In my tiny little kitchen(s)?  I got a Vitamix when Kate and family were living here.  But now I use it once a week ... or less.  

Would I really eat more vegetables?

AWKWARD WIDOW and her MONEY

My financial plan is to have enough money to last a day longer than I do.  That's my worst case scenario.  In my dreams I would like to be able to pay for college for the two babies.

I grew up rather poor in Columbus, Ohio.  Six children.  Same house until both of my parents died.  Secure but not much money.  It was a great childhood, in my mind, because my Mom spent all of her time with us!  She would play games with us or read to us until she declared "oh my gosh, look at the time!"  Then we would all pitch in to tidy up and get dinner going before Dad got home.

All six of us love to cook.  Because she liked to cook.  It's hard to imagine liking to cook for that many people every day.  She even packed our lunches!  She loved trying out new recipes.  We were lucky she tried making egg rolls and egg foo yung.  She experimented with German food.  Budget gourmet food.  And no microwave back then.  I digress.

They survived on only Social Security and $300/month pension from the Carpenter's Union.  A few of us would find ways to send them money each month (maybe in a card saying Happy Ground Hog Day).  I have just one kidult and don't want to think that she might have to financially give me a hand.

Luckily, Ralph had a 401(k) and we saved his Social Security since he worked full time until age 76.  I have a nice nest egg.  But I am so risk adverse ... or maybe emotionally ill equipped to make money decisions ... so today I met with a financial planner.  I know I would like the help.  But I had NO IDEA how much babysitting me would cost each month.

Next appointment is with a fee only, hourly rate (that still makes my head spin), financial advisor to see if I can have someone to bounce ideas with.  And I can do the actual work.

Stay tuned.

FRIENDS of WIDOWS

Being back in Oregon has been eye opening for me.  I have so many more circles of friends here.   And it seems easier to make new friends.  Of course, our terrific summer weather this year has been a big bonus.  We have had more 90+ days this summer than ever recorded.  Third warmest summer on record.  I've been in the pool more than I can ever remember.

I've made better friendships with several residents of our condo complex.  Maybe because they are also single ladies ... some my age, most are a bit older.  I'm impressed with what I am learning from each of them.  I've rekindled friends from my old neighborhood and enjoy the family who bought our home.

In a few instances, some friendships have not worked out as well.  These ladies do not light my path ... rather put up obstacles and darkness with their constant negativity.   Luckily, I have learned that being close friends with them just isn't working for me and I am blessed with the ability to keep my distance.  But still be friendly.  

Having the grandbabies keeps me young and tuned in with interests of almost four year olds.  He is such a hoot!  His parents converted his IKEA bed into a bunkbed and he is so proud.  "Wanna check it out Gramma?"

I am surrounded by light!

IN MY WIDOW BED

Last night I had a great time in bed.

Oh you naughty minded people!  No sex involved (this time).  When I returned to Oregon I bought a king sized Nuflex adjustable bed.  It is two twin XL mattresses so each side can move independently.

I wanted to watch some Netflix without bothering my neighbors (all of our windows are open) so chose the laptop with headphones.  It wasn't as comfortable as I liked, sitting in the living room chair (sofa on order) so I decided to try the bed.

Oh wow!   Very comfy, after adjusting it just right!  Of course, then I couldn't reach the night stand for my glass of wine.  I searched around and found a little table to bring in that worked just fine.  After an episode or two, I noticed it was 1:00 am already!  Time for some sleep.  But I just wasn't sleepy!  (It could have something to do with a three hour nap the day before!).

So I snuggled on in and turned on the vibrating system.  Thirty minutes later, when it turned itself off, I was nowhere to be found.  Sound asleep.  Miles away.  Mmmmm.

AWKWARD CHANGES

I'm beginning to see that maybe some older people do not like change.

Our condo complex decided to change the locks on our clubhouse and pool area.  Apparently people who no longer live here return in the summer to use the pool.  Or owners had their "do not duplicate" keys duplicated and share with their kids and grandkids.  Many of these "guests" apparently are unable to read and therefore prop open the pool gates so anyone can come in, bring in food as well as glass containers and alcohol.

Personally, I am comfortable having a conversation with someone I do not recognize.  More often than not, they ARE residents ... from buildings on the far side of the complex whom I just have not met yet.  Sometimes they are from the apartment complex across the street (who have their own indoor AND outdoor pools).  

Since I'm at the pool lots more this summer, with and without Braeden and kids, I've been stopping a lot of people who want to borrow our amenities.  I've removed the rock or brick propping open the door.  Once, as I was doing this, someone shouted my name saying "JB, that's my brick, don't move it."  I continued moving it then came in for a friendly chat.  Believe it or not, the Owner was a past Board chairperson and an attorney!  She had brought her caregiver who brought her daughter and the two grandkids over to swim.  Grandma brought snacks for the youngsters in glass containers.  

I reminded the Owner about State laws for keeping the gates locked at all times.  Then I said the glassware and the food had to go.  Grandma was indignant ... how will I feed the children?  Just outside our gated pool area is a picnic table with gazebo as well as a 30x30 foot covered patio!  The Owner lives about 50 paces and has a patio ... and I even suggested they could use my patio (I'm about 50 paces as well).  

The lock change was announced at our Annual Meeting (which was lightly attended) and I was volunteered to hand out the remaining keys.  Everyone was emailed a notice with my name, email and phone number to contact me.  95% of the people have called or emailed and we've arranged a time to drop by and sign the papers and the pool rules (oh, I didn't know we couldn't have a big family reunion and have 20 kids swimming).  The keys can NOT be duplicated at Home Depot or other retail outlets.  Only our keymaker can make one.  Replacements will need two Board member authorizing signatures and cost $100.

Some people are upset that they can't just stop by and get one.  Which of course, they can ... if I'm at home!  One guy wants me to mail him a key even though he walked between my building and the pool grumbling about whose bright idea the whole key thing was.  One Iranian lady wants keys for all her grandkids so they can use the pool even when she is not here (one is 12 and cannot swim ... and they let her go by herself)

Mostly my neighbors are grumpy because they just don't want new locks.

AWKWARDLY DATING

No.  Not me.  Never say never but honestly it hasn't crossed my mind.

I'm very concerned about my friend.  Remember the one who gave her entire 401(k) to a boyfriend .... starting just weeks after meeting him.  And she continued and continued and continued until her $100,000 was gone.  She thinks he will pay her back but honestly, I think she knows it's all talk.

Before she had even fully let him go, she began her online dating again.  She rushed into a relationship way too quickly (in my humble opinion).  Too much too soon.  Including meeting his kids.  Which is a giant no no until you have been dating at least 6 months ... or more.  And this guy was not even divorced yet!  Six weeks later it was over and she was devastated.

Until the next week when she met the next guy.  Began spending the night at his house with his 13 year old daughter there.  Including her on their "dates" which only made the poor kid even more uncomfortable.  Six weeks later, it was over. And she was devastated.

She had been trying to get together with me these past six weeks but I finally had to take a stand.  There was never a good opening to explain my feeling about not wanting to meet these passing flings.  This weekend I got my chance.

I hope I worded it with the least amount of pain for her.  She is addicted to having a man in her life.  She is gorgeous.  She is smart.  She is in great shape.  She doesn't NEED a man in her life!  I wish she could see that what she has been doing these past months (maybe longer?) isn't working for her.  I hope she will take a year off from men.

I just want my friend back.

ATHLETICALLY AWKWARD

Finally.  I signed up for two classes organized by my adult center that involve moving my body.  Too bad they are on the same day!

Walk with Ease is the Arthritis Foundation guideline for staying active with bad knees and bad hips.  Unfortunately, I think they are going to say even though it hurts, just do it.  I did some walking while my sister was visiting and even though there was pain involved, it didn't seem worse with the activity.  The Dr. husband said walking will not hasten the arthritis in my knees so there goes that excuse.  I live in a very very walkable area of this suburb, which is why we chose the condo.  Everything we would ever need is within one mile of home.  Library, two grocery stores, banks, post office, 15+ restaurants,  hardware store, two consignment clothing stores, small movie theater, live theater, doctors, dentists and several chi chi shops (where I do a lot of looking, but no buying).

The class meets at 8am (?!) and lasts until 9:15.  A 15 minute drive to another location for beginning Tai Chi that starts at 10:15 and goes for an hour.  I'm looking forward to stretching and breathing on purpose  without getting on the floor like yoga (I'm just not there yet).  Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I made a commitment!

To celebrate this new exercise regimen ... I'm also going to cultivate my creative side (pretty much non-existent) by taking an introduction to water colors.  Oils are probably more forgiving but more expensive and scary to do at home (I'm hoping water colors don't permanently stain ....)