WHALES or WORK?

Due to chilly weather, laziness, lack of discipline and worry about my swimsuit not fitting ... led me to text my buddy and talk her into SKIPPING our exercise (deep water aerobics).  After she agreed, I told her she could never let me do that again.  No canceling unless blood or tsunami is involved.  So we start Monday.

I had a lot of busy computer work today, including spending 30 minutes with customer service at my credit union.  They are truly wonderful, helpful people.  My Maui HOA … not at all.  My monthly fees are set up to be paid automatically by the CU to arrive on the first.  Several months ago the HOA’s property management company was purchased by a larger property management company.  All of a sudden, in October I was told my dues were delinquent by three months.  

Since the checks are directly produced through the CU, I do not have online access to get front and back or even check number.  By the time I did get a verbal check number and clearing date, the HOA clerk called and said “oh never mind, accounting department has straightened out your account.”   The next month, my account shows a $10 late fee and $39 in arrears.  WHAT?

Unfortunately, the clerk seems to not have all the color crayons in her box.  I decided that it would be better for me to have everything IN WRITING from now on because her memory doesn’t seem to be that good either.  In two weeks she doesn't remember saying my account was fine??

I sent her the listing of 2014 payments, twelve of them.  She sent me her ledger that showed manual billings for three months and I could not make hide nor hare of their other postings.  She kept calling me.  I would send a return email asking that we handle everything via email.  She just didn’t get it.  When I returned to Maui, I contacted my neighbor who is now President and asked what he thought about the new company … he immediately said “uh oh, you are having problems too?”

He made an unannounced visit to the property management office to spot check a few accounts, and then asked if I could send a copy of the November payment.  My dedicated customer service rep tried many ways to email it to me but it had to be encrypted (bank policy) which we never did get to work.  So I took the check number and the date it cleared and she will mail me the front/back … to my Portland home so my daughter can mail it to me in Maui.

I sent an email (always with a copy to Doug, the Prez) with the check number and the date cleared.  She promptly wrote back … can you send me the check number???

(taken on my little walk)

Luckily, the sun is shining so I took myself on a brisk walk.  There are a few things I should do or call about but I’m not sure my patience is at a level to do ANYTHING in a nice, calm way.

I’m gonna go watch whales for a bit!

GIRLS WHO WEAR GLASSES ...

Girls who wear glasses never get passes!

Four eyes.  Blind girl.  Binocular face.  Oh those insults from the past.

Oh, I've tried contacts many times.  There have been so many advances in technology, so I always feel like giving them another try.  But my eyes are so sensitive it feels like a big chunk of rock in my eye.

So now I'm going to get a little wild with my specs.  I decided (again) to let my hair go grey so my face will need something so that I don't just fade away.  Make up is one good solution although I don't have a lot of patience so I need a ten minute regime.

I currently have three pairs .. dark grey frames, red frames and wire rimmed.  Yesterday I was at Costco ... 

I'm sure they might look a little better with a smile ... rather than a mug shot ...

Your vote???

EMOTIONAL VITAMINS

I guess I'm still on my happy kick.  This morning Kate called to say she had a vivid dream about her Dad which makes her really miss him.  Oddly enough, I also had a (good) dream about him and have been missing him more than usual all day. 

Part of it, I know, is because I'm in his Dream life.  Maui.  He worked an extra ten years to be able to make this happen.  And I am so grateful.  It's so much more than I deserve.  At our income level (and savings level, I guess) it is probably not what any financial people would approve.  I actually inhale love when I am here.  What's the price of that?  

Maybe I need some emotional vitamins.  There ARE vitamins that supposedly help with emotional stability ... Vitamin D is the big one.  As are Vitamin B's.  I take a wonderful multivitamin and an extra D so physically, I think I'm pretty well covered.

But when you no longer have someone on the other side of your bed or across the table from you to give you a hug or a compliment, you need to figure out a way to get an emotional boost on your own.  According to University of Carolina professor Barbara Fredrickson, PhD :

• “Positive emotions are unique and adaptive because, in the moment, they broaden people’s thought–action repertoires,” she writes, “and, over time and through such broadening, they build people’s enduring physical, social, intellectual, and psychological resources”.

She feels if we make a habit of focusing on joy, even over something insignificant, joy will come more easily with practice.  Including joyful relationships.  Being around happy people, or positive people, or funny people help may keep us focused on things we truly enjoy … whether that is people, pets, Picasso, the Packers or the piano.

Who knew?

AWKWARDLY HAPPY HERE

Maui would be SOOOO much more fun with Mr. Ralph.  It's a little sad remembering the fun we had here ... the future projects.  Sitting on the back lanai every morning with coffee and papaya.  I am having to make a real effort to be happy.

One of the first widow things I did 20 months ago was to buy a new perfume.  Coincidentally, it is called Happy (by Clinique).  I don't normally wear perfume but since I've been here, I put a little dab on every day.  A conscious effort to remember to be happy.  

Now I am trying to get in the habit of listening to music.  Upbeat happy music.  Even the song Happy!  Even old people lip syncing Happy.  Happy is as happy does.  

It's progress, though, isn't it?  Now I don't wallow in my sadness for more than 15 minutes at a time.  It's healthy to cry and release those hormones.  Read the article The Miracle of Tears (Jerry Bergman) for these top reasons that crying helps heal us physiologically, psychologically, and spiritually.

1)  Tears help us see better
2)  Tears kill bacteria
3)  Tears remove toxins
4)  Crying can elevate mood (I always feel better after!)
5)  Crying lowers stress
6)  Tears build community
7)  Tears release feelings

See!  I'm feeling happier already!

QUIRKY QUOTABLES

For Hanukkah, my sister gave me a journal of sorts ... My Quotable Grandkid.  It's a cute idea but so far, I don't think mine have said much worth writing down.  Then she started reminding me of a few!

Recently, as I had Braeden on my lap one morning reading him a book, he gently pushed my face away from him.  Gramma, can you keep reading with your face over there?  Well, yes .. but why?  I took another sip of coffee ... then sputtered when he said "you have spider breath".

That must be the most horrible, awful thing he could think of ... spiders!!!  Now I keep gum in a little dish so if he notices spider breath, he can bring me a piece!!

When I sit back and think of things he says, I do a lot of smiling.  I offered to stop at Starbucks (mainly for me) and asked if he would like a hot chocolate.  In all seriousness, he said no thank you.  My Dad makes the real deal.  Ah ha ha ha!  (He got a vanilla milk with whipped cream).  Even Starbucks can't compete with the real deal!!

And I have to remember to write down when we left the plane as we were starting our Disneyland trip.  He was instructed to follow right behind me, then when we got into the hallway, we could hold hands.  I turned around and he was nowhere to be found!  The lady behind me said he was in with the Captain ... thanking him for flying us to Disneyland!

Kids do say the darndest things!

MY MAUI MORNING

Today my six week "vacation" begins.  At the local Java Cafe, sitting outside with my laptop and my coffee.  Mr. Ralph and I would do this at least twice a week.

I surely enjoy my back lanai yet sometimes I need to be where the people are.  Watching and listening.  People here are smiling (hey!  they are on vacation and it IS sunny and warm) and almost always say good morning.

The past couple of days has been emptying the fridge and freezer and cabinets of things I cannot use (man, a huge back of frozen prawns ... unopened ... and I am allergic to shellfish).  Spent yesterday getting groceries and incidentals.  Adjusting to the time.  Checking in with great neighbors.  Finding where my friends have stashed the cork screw.

And today it is real!  Gosh, this decision to live in one place is tough.  Family and friends vs. good health and making new friends?  Winter in Maui is like your best summer day ... for 3-4 months.

So I've decided to postpone deciding.  Maybe tomorrow!

AWKWARD VACATION

Despite feeling under the weather, I managed both flights and arrived on Maui about 5pm.  Believe it of not, I actually had to wear a light jacket!

A young couple who were borrowing my house picked me up at the airport in my very clean car (they cleaned it!) and then wanted to take me to dinner.  We drove about 20 minutes to a really cute place in Haiku ... and it was CLOSED.  And the next three restaurants we tried were closed!!  Erin called our next choice who said they were supposed to close at 6pm but if we got there by 6:15 they would serve.  We made it.  Da Kitchen in Kahulua rocks!

After I dropped them off at the airport to return to Portland, the drive to my Maui Mansion was tear filled.  This would be so much more fun WITH Mr. Ralph.  It just seems like everything (and anything?) would be so much better WITH him.  The fun would be twice as fun ... and the bad just half as bad.

My fun neighbors with their three great kids were having a little fireworks party outside in their driveway.  I went over for a few minutes, got lots of hugs then took my bedraggled body inside to have some Prosecco.  Believe it or not I made it til midnight ... Maui time.

Let's see how this vacation continues ...