ANOTHER WIDOW MILESTONE

Sunday was my 30 year wedding anniversary.  I was going to write "would have been" but honestly, it WAS my anniversary.

Fortunately, a high school classmate (whom I have not seen or spoken to since 1970!) was in town for his daughter's wedding.  Facebook was our starting point!  I said if he had time in between festivities, we should meet for coffee or lunch.  The fun was already planned out for everyone but we finally met around noon on Sunday when he checked out.

And his plane wasn't leaving until midnight.  Ahhh!  I'm not sure I can make small talk for that long.  What do GUYS want to see or know about Portland?  With that kind of time we could drive to the Coast or up to the Mountain ....

We finally settled on a tour of my cute little city and a visit to the condo.  He is still running a small company in Atlanta and lives with Wife #2 in a big home.  Turns out that was a wise decision not to downsize as an adult daughter and her 9 year old moved in this them.  Then we drove east on the Scenic Columbia Gorge Highway to Multnomah Falls.  He actually wanted to get to the airport early to try for an earlier flight home.

All in all, it was very pleasant and we were never at a loss for words.  A few way-back-when moments but mostly in the here and now.  When I got home, I started reminiscing about Ralph and romance and how we made a celebration out of anything ... and everything.  He was very big into flowers and I'm the practical Taurus who knows they will only last a week (or less).  But I bought a gorgeous Autumn bouquet.  I opened a nice bottle of red wine.  And cried.  

To top it all off, my Un-son-in-law called (after Kate reminded him it was our anniversary).  I barely remember his kind words since I was trying not to cry in his ear.  But he ended by saying  Ralph was the most influential man in his life.  He learned a lot from him and hopes he can raise his boys to be men like him.

IN THE ARMY NOW

Oh how I love Mr. Braeden!

For some reason, he fixated on the army guys in Toy Story.  He would carry army guys every where he went, despite his Mom saying he shouldn't because he might lose one.  In fact, he did drop one behind a gum display ... where they were climbing up to reconnoiter.  Mom said too bad, I tried to warn you.  Let's go.  He looked her in the eye and said "no man left behind" and the clerk came around, moved the display and returned the little green man.

Now his bedroom at Gramma's house is totally Army and camouflage.  Every time I see anything camo, and it's affordable (think Walmart), I buy the shirts or shorts or sweatpants or shoes.  A helmet from the Dollar Tree was a great success.

He loves to feed his little brother.

Often when he spends the night, he dresses camo, grabs his cork and string rifle and a flashlight and we tour the condo complex.  Most everyone thinks he is adorable except for one who doesn't think it's age appropriate and he will turn into a warmonger.  And especially I shouldn't let him play with guns.  Well.  That boy can turn a piece of toast into a gun and pretend shoot me!  He used to look for sticks that would work.  Mom and Unson-in-law finally caved when an older neighbor boy gave B his old nerf guns.

He loves his new bedroom.  Usually he asks for a "ticket" to enter.  He has to sleep in the center of the bed, right under the army man figure on the bedspread.  There is much talk about a camo birthday cake with helicopters and army guys.  He's excited there is an army guy ride at Disneyland.

He's got an army man costume for Halloween.  Mom painted her nails camo.  We are all playing along.  I think he will grow up to be a fine young man.  Enlisted or not!

PRETTY PINK PARTY

Last night a condo friend hosted a pink party.  It started out to be a celebration of when she got her neck brace off (hiking accident and fractured her neck).  As usual, life got in the way (and other parties) so then we thought it would be an October event and we would raise some $$ for breast cancer.  Life again got in the way.  So it was Friday evening.

Annie always brings a plastic wine glass with a pink flamingo base ... which is why I thought it fun to do a pink party.  And we decided on ladies only.  For some reason, yesterday, a lot of people just wanted to stay home.  Including me.  But I have the insurance rider indemnifying the HOA against alcohol related damage, so I did need to go.

It was great fun!  Almost everyone wore pink and our favorite party girl really outdid herself.  We have a fun loving group!

I think there were ten of us, off and on.  Great snacks (home made wild mushroom pirogues, salmon spread, delectable little warm sandwiches, ravioli with lobster sauce and lots of the usual items) and lots of PINK drinks (mine was champagne).

We all agreed that despite our hesitance, we were glad we joined in.  Our young Board member popped in after she got her babies to bed.  She talked us into having a costume party for Halloween!

WET DREAMS

A very catchy title, eh?

But I'm really talking about how I'm planning to live my new more active life during the rainy season in Portland.  It's not starting out so good.  Yesterday, I didn't make myself go for an intentional walk.  Although several times when it wasn't raining, I did walk a little errand or take a walk with the Handykid's daughter and later Mr. Braeden.

Son-in-law Jesse (without the marriage license) called to ask if I would take him to get his car battery replaced.  I invited Braeden to ride around with us (he looked so adorable in jeans and a white golf shirt).  Goodyear did not have the same battery in stock so asked if he could return in an hour as they would have one delivered.

That worked out perfect for me!  Lunch with the boys!  Jesse then emptied my car from the previous day's Costco trip and Ikea trip.  I sure do love having younger muscles around!  He trimmed a few plants, hosed off the patio (sawdust left behind when I rushed Handykid out) and greatly admired my storage closet with new wooden shelves that utilize every cubic inch of space.  

This morning I have a teeth cleaning appointment then fun with the whole little family, including lunch at The Original Hotcake House.  Mr. B gets to spend the night!  In his beloved Soldier Guy Room.

He will walk with me rain or shine.  Little does he know I have a Spiderman umbrella for him!

IT HURTS UNTIL IT DOESN'T

My neighbor has been a widow for over thirty years.  Yes, she still misses him and her heart aches.  I hope I never forget my guy.

This second year of widowhood is not as intense as that first year.  I was almost one of those wailing in the streets kinda widow.  Everything was bigger than imaginable.  I'm pleased to learn that this year the ups are still high and the lows are more bearable.  This I can manage.  Hopefully.

Right now I'm sad and missing him like crazy.  It's our first rainy day ... the day we would start getting excited to head to Maui.  One year we left for our island in early November but I wanted to come back for Christmas.  My gosh it poured rain the entire 2-3 weeks we were in Portland and EVERY time we went outside he'd remark "why are we here" again.  Then he'd pull out a photo of Braeden, or a cute video, and then he would sigh... "that's why."

I'm moving towards the stage of grief where most of the annoying things are floating to the background of my memory.  Some of the once annoying things now are kinda cute.  

It's hard to believe that our anniversary this month would mark 30 years!  Thirty years!  Who would have thunk it!

AUTUMN PERSPECTIVE

Today is the official first day of Autumn!

I don't know why I enjoy celebrating the start of each season.  Although it's probably just another aging kind of thing.  My Mom was the same way.  She just delighted in so many things.  Kinda glad I got that from her!

But it also begins the rainy season here in Oregon.  In fact, predictions are for rain to start tomorrow and be off and on all week.  I know that will affect my getting up and out of this little place.  No more flip flops when walking about the complex.  Sox and water resistant shoes.  Sweater or jacket.  Umbrella or raincoat.

I think I will up my Vitamin D intake.  The constant grey really does get to me after a while.  The condo is a downstairs unit and we are surrounded by mature trees.  So it seems darker also.  That too, is part of my aging journey.  Mr. Ralph would get pretty grumpy about mid-January.  I always thought it was work related (trade show season) or his birthday arriving at the end of January.  But it was SAD.  He even bought the special light bulbs to help but in the end, it was only Maui that helped!

While I am looking forward to see how I handle the grey and wet for a few months, knowing that the sunshine and warmth of Maui are in the near future surely helps.  The house there is my retirement program.  Hope I don't need to sell it for at least 50 years!!!

I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW ....

Yesterday I finally found my computer glasses.

The past few months have been awkward (I love fitting that adjective in) while working on the computer as I have to take OFF my glasses and increase the font on all pages.  The distance to monitor is too close for my trifocals yet a little too far for naked eyes.  The red computer glasses are just right!

My handy dandy optometrist said I need cataract removal on the left eye in a few months.  Which poses the question of having a permanent contact lens inserted.  She also suggested that I have distance lens in one eye and reading lens in the other eye.  This just sounds pretty awkward to me!  Do any of you do this?  Is it possible that your eyes will work together in this way?

In the meantime, IF I have the permanent lens in one eye, the right eye has another year or more before it is bad enough for insurance to pay.  SO ... does this mean I have glasses with just one lens?  Or do I try (for the umpteenth time) to wear a contact in the other eye?

Mr. Ralph had one eye done with the permanent contact lens.  He had worn contacts for 40 years, so wearing just one wasn't a problem for him.  Except when it came to reading in bed.  He needed reading glasses for just one eye!

My snorkel mask is optically adjusted.  I will need to get a plain one after the surgery .... or maybe a computer-distance prescription?  Goodness ... it's always something!