mel·an·chol·y
ˈmelənˌkälē/
After the holiday festivities and lights, January can give me the doldrums. All the beautiful white lites around town are taken down and put into storage.
The winter germs hit. (We had a horrible bout of flu at this house). The eternal grey, cool and wet season begins full force. Many of Medicare folks get the dreaded SAD as well. Each year Mr. Ralph's bout with SAD worsened. Now I know how he felt.
And wouldn't you know, his birthday is January 31. I don't know why I get so sad (and so does Kate) on his birthday .... even more than on his death day. He'd be turning 84. We usually went to the Oregon coast to celebrate, in the early years. Then we timed our vacations to Maui to coincide with his special day. First thing on the morning of his birthday, into the ocean he went!
We used to celebrate by going to his favorite Italian restaurant (one in Portland and one in Maui). The one in Portland closed a few years ago so we will go to what we think would be his new favorite and it's just blocks away.
Happy birthday, Buddy. I love you.
I think all widows have triple sadiversaries...death day, birthday and anniversary. I'm kind of lucky in that Don's birthday and our anniversary are only three days apart so I have only two sadiversaries. It's hard not to think of the what ifs and back whens then. Gotta just ride it out and maybe plan something in honor him that day to do that's uplifting. Fortunately, we have a butterfly exhibit timed with Don's birthday so I go there.
ReplyDeleteForever, I'm sure. It's hard to believe it will be five years in May. Seems like last year .....
DeleteBrought a tear to my eye also being a widow now of almost 5 years. Sounds like you had a very happy marriage. You are fortunate.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you. Almost five years for me also. We had a great marriage ... ups and downs, of course. I'm beginning to see that he was the extrovert!
DeleteFred's birthday was just 14 days after he died, so I get all my melancholy wrapped up mid January. Well, not really, but...you know. Of course, on his birthday that year, we were having a party at a swanky place for his 70th birthday--his kids were coming up from Florida and---we were going to surprise everyone and get married. Instead, his kids changed their tickets for the 3rd of January. I think it is his birthday that bothers me more because of the specialness that never happened.
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