This is sometimes (often)(always) a difficult task. But I finally DID get up the courage to talk to a gal about where our friendship went wrong. I'm glad I did and we are (slowly) building a new friendship.
Two of my Maui friends were widowed ten years ago. Each of them grieved and commemorated in their own way. One is more lonely than the other. More sad. More depressed. And frankly had us all worried. Fortunately, she finally opened up to explain her loneliness, how it hurts to see other happy couples, and how she needed some smothering.
Now we talk (or text or email) every other day or so and she is taking steps to help herself. Including a little vacation! Splurging on some self care. I think friends are a special gift which take an investment of time and energy. While I do not have a BFF (well, my sister), I have different sorts of relationships with different kinds of people.
She was talking that she doesn't feel "part" of the F-Troop ... everyone is always talking about or passing around photos of their kids or grandkids. But really? One member doesn't have either! One member is estranged from all four of hers. Several do not even have grandkids. So it's definitely perspective.
She mentioned that she is shy and an introvert. Me too! I know I don't sound like that, but it is hard for me to make the first move. I never mention how many times I have shared my phone number and email address and never hear back. Same with Facebook after I've met someone in person and then find them there.
Part of friendship (while looking for one or two SPECIAL friends) is putting in the time getting to know more about them. Of course you are bound to find out things you don't enjoy about them as well. My motto is take what you like and leave the rest. If your list of cons outweighs your pros, then slowly stop responding to invitations. But if they are even, it's still nice (in my humble opinion) to do things that you both like to do.
Many of my blogger friends are going through this same stuff. Building friendships as a single woman, at our age, is hard to do. When I find another woman who finds it hard to have dinner alone, I do speak up! Easy to have a once a month dinner date ... and if you find a lot to talk about, more frequently!
Maybe I need to host a board game night ....