Me babysitting Lamby. I usually make a little (but noticeable) mess and tattle on him being a rascal.
Dirt and water. Just add boys!
Taping on a ping pong ball head to GI Joe so he can terrorize the other GI Joe's (Zombie or Alien, I can't remember!
GI Joe day while parents went hiking. Inside all morning, outside all afternoon!
The parents, however, are on a short lease. I told them they need to get "work from home" jobs at the very least. That was June 15. Neither has applied for anything. This morning I went out to pick up free groceries from a WLLO friend who could not use them (cookies, candy, pasta). I was a bit embarrassed by the status of our patio (project central) and I have asked them (both), a million times, to put EVERYTHING away when they are done for the day. As long as they are working, the little old ladies can't say anything. But the old gals are walking around in the morning to get their ammunition. Also, Kate left her smoking station out in the carport (we have had three HOA warnings about this).
When I spoke with the two of them shortly after the food was dropped off, unfortunately, Kate had a hissy fit and started shouting at me (she knows when they are in the wrong). They each have a credit card on my account and I have respectfully asked them to alert me BEFORE they use it. It's not like real money to them. I get a notice each time it is used. Most of the time, I say yes. Sometimes I would like to request them to pick up something for me if I only knew they were going to that particular store. She threw my credit card at me. And slammed the bedroom door.
That, my friends, does not work for me. I'm waiting a day as I make mistakes in communication when I am angry. We will once again go over the very few rules of the house. Which just got bigger. I will put it in writing with a copy to them and one in the junk drawer for future reference.
I do understand they both have anxiety. It is very real. I'm glad they found each other. But they don't like the medication prescribed so they don't do anything proactive. Kate hemmed and hawed about working from home as that would make her MORE anxious. I suggested she find employment anywhere that works for her. Minimum 20 hours a week. Minimum wage out here is $13.25/hour. Every little bit will help. I hope to encourage them up to full time by the end of the year. They may never afford their own home or apartment, and as long as I am treated with respect, I sure don't mind sharing.
Maybe peri-menopause has entered the building. She/they are usually VERY kind and respectful. Please stay tuned!
Our worlds both big and small are full of stress right now, effecting everyone. We're all stretched to the limits. But what you are asking of adults with children to raise is totally reasonable and right, I'm sure they will see that too and will come around.
ReplyDeleteI just want to be sure that I am not enabling them. Part time might just be the right thing for each of them.
DeleteThere can be a fine line between helping and enabling and you will find it, I have no doubt in your ability to do that.
DeleteYour grandsons are so creative and inventive!!
ReplyDeleteI can't say much about their parents ONLY because I'm in a similar situation with my son and DIL. They live in a rental house of ours and pay VERY little rent. She is really great about her part of the rent; he is 10% at best. Plus we are paying all the utilities for the house. The up side is both of them do work and work hard at their respective field. The down side is they couldn't afford normal rent. The other up side is they are appreciative of the help that is given to them though there have been issues here and there about how they take care of the property, who they have allowed to live there with them, etc.
And I get it with anxiety as I suffer from it too.
But sometimes an adult has to adult. Its tough though to get them sometimes to do it.
Totally understand though respect for you and your rules is definitely needed!
betty
Those boys are so cute.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't always easy to navigate relationships with adult kids. I was better at it when he was smaller than me. LOL You will figure it out, and my guess is that they will come to their senses soon. This is a stressful time for a lot of reasons. I know you don't need one more thing.
I think they are pretty cute too ... more personality than physical but the eyes on that little guy ... heart melter!
DeleteThings are going GREAT around here now! IF you get a remote job with Apple, they send you a laptop to use!!!!
Another reason for me not to move in with my daughter.
ReplyDelete