Thursday, June 9, 2016


Last week I went to a double birthday celebration ... my friend turns 60 and her Mom turns 90!  

I first met them through my friend's husband (I use this term lightly as I don't know if they are legally married, but together for 15+ years).  He built our outdoor shower, back deck, added a door to garage, changed a window in our bedroom to a sliding glass door, and so on.  At the time, his wife was still employed in California.  Talk about a long distance relationship!!

He really hit it off with Mr. Ralph and he invited us over for drinks and pupus (appetizers).  When we visited we were stunned at the beauty of their property.  Large tiki hut bar and as the years went on, he added marble countertop to the back counter, dishwasher, etc.  I could comfortably live in the bar!

This is the infamous tiki lounge

He designed and coordinated a walk in saline pool and hot tub.  He added a two bedroom ohana (cottage) that they rented for years.  When she retired and moved here permanently, and brought her Mom and hubby, they jumped the last hurdle to become a licensed bed and breakfast.  The main house has been converted into two apartments with the older couple on one floor, the younger on another.

This is the rental unit

After Mr. Ralph died, it was hard for me to be in large groups of people that I don't know.  Even though we knew the owners, as hosts they have to flit among every one.  I thought I would give it a try this time, as another step of the widowhood journey.  There must have been at least 100 people ... many of them had flown in from California and other spots on the mainland.  It was a fiesta themed party with margarita machine, bright colored table settings and catered by a Mexican menu food truck.

I mixed and mingled but was the ONLY solo person in the place.  Everyone was nice and welcoming although the conversation usually went back to them with me listening.  

Personal goal of staying three hours and then I snuck out.  I bet that celebration went until 2am!  I think next time I will ask if I can bring a pal.  Then the two of us could meet people and have ourselves to talk to in between.

Mr. Ralph celebrating his 79th birthday at Auntie Kali's Cottage

We were friendly enough to be invited over for small gatherings and parties and great food .... Mr. Ralph loved it there with the gracious and down to earth hosts!

P.S.  When you come to visit Maui and need a special place to stay, check out Auntie Kali's Cottage on Facebook or Homeaway. 


  1. Maui must be a wonderful and friendly place to live. It seems like everyone who retires there comes from someplace else.

    Glad you made it to the party for a few hours. It would be hard to be in a group that big as the only single (that you know of). But you accomplished your goal and that's great.

    1. Most people who live here are from elsewhere! I can do smaller groups of strangers, no problem ... although I have to be in the right frame of mind!

      Went out with a neighbor lady last night for a glass of wine and chit chat (gossip!) The things I don't know about the other end of the street!!

  2. Paradise. What a beautiful place. Hard to wrap my head around all the work and upkeep required to maintain paradise for guests. Lucky guests!

    Congrats for surviving as the only solo person at the party. Amazing to learn that, even for gregarious AW, socializing this way is a strain. I find it a strain, too, so much so that I opted out of two large parties last Christmas. Small gatherings are more manageable as a solo person.

    LOVED seeing the photo of Mr. Ralph!

    1. It is HARD to keep the outdoor living area up. Before EVERY event (even me sitting out for coffee), I have to sweep then hose the deck and furniture. Every surface is thick with red gritty dirt. (When it's just me, I wipe down one chair and the table.) It was so much easier when my buddy did half the work!! Probably why I don't entertain as much ... takes a whole day of cleaning!

  3. That tiki lounge is very cool. I wouldn't mind moving into the little cottage. :)
    Keeping up an outdoor area is a bit of a job. Our patio needs sweeping or hosing almost every day. I didn't say it GETS it everyday, but it could use it if a more ambitious person lived here. Know what I mean?

    I would have a difficult time by myself at a party of that size. You did very well to make it three hours. Taking a friend next time would be a good idea. You'd have much more fun with a buddy.

    1. In the beginning, the rented the cottage by the month. It takes YEARS to get a B+B permit on Maui. I always thought I'd rather have the guaranteed monthly income ... I had never imagined they would be sooooo successful! It's almost always booked ...

  4. Good that you're getting out. Most couples groups typically don't seem to include older singles unless, as in your case, you had a previous couples association. Perhaps in a setting as you describe where so many are from elsewhere there's more flexibility. Maui is a popular island so am not surprised they book their attractive unit. Family on Big Island rents their place out but only to known family, friends.

    1. And my two favorite couples now live on the mainland! Slowly but surely I will make more friends, no matter how long it takes!

      It's especially interesting in 2016 ... I've met people on blogs and then we meet in person! Every bit of assistance via technology helps!