Thursday, December 5, 2019

EENY, MEENY, MINEY MOE


I enjoy being alone.  Maybe because I live with four other humans and man's best friend.  Or is it because I'm aging?  Or widowed?  

I have never been good at corporate functions and large cocktail parties because I'm just not interested in chit chat.  I can talk about nothing for a long time, but that's with a buddy or two or my sister.

Some people think there is something "wrong" with people who prefer being less social.  I think I've done my time.  Big family, big entertainer, corporate wife, and world traveler.  Now I enjoy being myself.  My best friend is probably my computer!

I was going to name this blog HERMIT, RECLUSE, INTROVERT but when I looked them up in the dictionary, I'm certainly not a hermit or recluse. 

A recluse is a person who lives in self-imposed isolation or seclusion from the world, especially for religious purposes; A hermit is a religious recluse; someone who lives alone for religious reasons; an eremite.  Certainly not me since I'm rather apathetic about organized religion.  Born Catholic, raised Catholic (all 12 years of uniformed school) and married Catholic.  

I usually think of myself as an introvert.  But even THAT has many meanings.  Introvert - a shy, reticent person.  I've not read the book "Quiet" (Susan Cain 2012) but apparently introverts are multiplying.  I think I am more introverted than before because of all the bad news in the world.  I don't want to watch it.  Not that I don't want to know but I don't need to see the gore and tragedy of an event eight million times.  I keep up with current events (via Facebook friends, digital news and the NY Times).  We do not have live TV in this household. Others feel the same.  So now they are talking about different "shades" of introversion.  

Social: Social introversion is the closest to the commonly held understanding of introversion, in that it's a preference for socializing with small groups instead of large ones. Or sometimes, it's a preference for no group at all — solitude is often preferable for those who score high in social introversion. "They prefer to stay home with a book or a computer, or to stick to small gatherings with close friends, as opposed to attending large parties with many strangers," Cheek said. But it's different from shyness, in that there's no anxiety driving the preference for solitude or small groups. 

Thinking: Thinking introversion is a newer concept. People with high levels of thinking introversion don't share the aversion to social events people usually associate with introversion. Instead, they're introspective, thoughtful, and self-reflective.

Anxious: Unlike social introverts, anxious introverts may seek out solitude because they feel awkward and painfully self-conscious around other people, because they're not very confident in their own social skills. But, often, their anxiety doesn't fade when they're all alone. This kind of introversion is defined by a tendency to ruminate, to turn over and over in their minds the things that might or could or already have gone terribly wrong. 

Restrained: Another word for this one is reserved. Restrained introverts sometimes seem to operate at a slightly slower pace, preferring to think before they speak or act. They also might take a while to get going — they can't, for instance, wake up and immediately spring into action.

I'm a bit of all of these.  Not too much of the anxious part (although both Jesse and Kate have this) but more restrained, small groups and thinking.  And I enjoy it! 






6 comments:

  1. I would never think of you as an introvert. You do too much volunteering for that. Introverts don't put themselves out there like that.

    I think what you're describing about yourself is just normal human stuff. We all need our alone times, our family times and our social times. We just don't label the various moods we go through week by week.

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    Replies
    1. I agree. We are ALL introverts to some degree, in some areas. Same with ADD. I just have to know when to push through!

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  2. Wow, this was interesting to read. I like how they have broken down introversion into those categories. I think I fit a bit with each of those, a lot with the anxiety one since I seem to think I'm inept being around others, LOL, or perhaps awkward at times in social situations. I do enjoy being by myself a lot too in a quiet environment. I think that's a good quality to have to be comfortable with oneself and I think we both have it :)

    betty

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    1. Abd as a typical nest empties, the parents get used to peace and quiet. Then when little ones enter the house OR everyone gathers for a special ocassion, we older folks are exhausted from the noise!

      I have the best of both worlds here!

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  3. I like to spend times with friendly groups, and then spend quiet times on my own, to re-energize. I am a widow and live alone so I can enjoy quiet times in my home.

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  4. I guess I'm the Social Introvert--which is a far cry from my younger/mid years.I used to be into everything, the organizer of golf tournaments, dances, card parties, outdoor parties.
    Now 4 hours at a family gathering is about all I can take and I just want to be home in my comfy chair with quietness. I usually only leave the house once a week, for foraging and gathering, or hair cuts, etc. but when I am out, I chat it up with anyone near me. Check-out line. Standing in line, car repair guys--whomever.
    Maybe I am not any of the above described introverts. Maybe I am just one weird old woman?

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