The NYT had an interesting article last week entitled Intensive Grandparenting.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/23/well/family/when-grandparents-help-hold-it-all-together.html (In case you want to read it)
The word INTENSIVE just has a negative connotation to me. So I looked it up.
in·ten·sive
/inˈtensiv/ (adjective)
concentrated on a single area or subject or into a short time; very thorough or vigorous. Thorough, in-depth, concentrated, rigorous, exhaustive ...
Synonyms of intensive
acute, almighty, blistering, deep, dreadful, excruciating, explosive, exquisite, fearful, fearsome, ferocious, fierce, frightful, furious, ghastly, hard, heavy, heavyduty, hellacious, intense, keen, profound, terrible, vehement, vicious, violent
Contemporary grandparenting should be voluntary and reassessed every couple of months. As well as be flexible as we perennials feel tired or worn down. While we are not like the 65 year old grandparents WE had, we still have some limitations.
I rather like the term "enhanced" grandparenting It sounds more positive .... like we are enjoying our level of grandparenting rather than fulfilling a commitment. For me, anyway, I volunteer to help and am RARELY asked to watch the boys. I can only do housework when the parents are away! They always thank me and say "you didn't have to do that". Yes, I know. Which is why I like to help out when I can. I am overly appreciated.
Embrace your vocation of being a grandparent.
I know quite few grandparents who do child care and invest a lot of their time. I can only hope they are appreciated like you are and not being taken for granted.
ReplyDeleteI do think grandparenting, at any level, is appreciated! And look at me! I moved here to be with these boys while they were little .... and it looks like I'm staying until they move out!
DeleteThere was a time in the wee one's life when his parents had crazy schedules for work and between me and my DIL's mom, we did pretty intensive childcare. I look back on that time and think "how did I manage" but of course I did. It wasn't that bad. It was Thursday evenings until son got off work around 10 o'clock and then we started keeping the wee one overnight because it was more conducive to our schedule to do so, son picking him up in the morning or me dropping the wee one off before I started work. Then it was Saturday evenings from about 4 p.m. til son got off work at midnight. It was challenging, but we bonded. Now everyone's work schedules are evenly balanced but we still have wee one come over for a few hours of alone time with us on Saturdays before others come over for dinner or dessert depending on schedules. I wouldn't house clean or do other chores, but watching him is actually a joy :)
ReplyDeleteThey do appreciate what we can do to help out too.
betty
My family lives out of state (Ohio) so I missed out on having grandparent help. My Mom found so many little ways to be a Grandma for Kate. Mailing her letters ... with stickers or a piece of gum or a gift certificate for a national store inside and even recorded herself reading Kate's favorite books to her.
DeleteKate and I visited them every summer for two weeks. So many happy memories!