DON'T GET SCAMMED!

As usual, a lot of people are making their New Year's resolutions.

Not me.

★★ ąŋɖ ɬɧɛ ɖąყ ąʄɬɛཞ ƈɧཞıʂɬɱąʂ ★★

We enjoyed Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Kate made a huge spread of food for snacking.  The table was very Christmasy with lots of candles (battery powered flickering style) and greenery.  Turkey, ham, two kinds of cheese, homemade honey mustard pretzels, little smokies in sweet/sour sauce, bright bell pepper rings, carrots, cucumber, celery, chips and salsa, three kinds of crackers topped off with two kinds of cookies!  And we all watched the movie "The Christmas Story" about the little guy who wanted a BB gun.

My kinda celebration.

The little guys are such a mix of young boys and teenagers.  They each got t-shirts with their favorite rappers on the front and some bling.

Stuffed animals and their first video gaming device.  Clothes of their favorite sports teams.

And to all a Good Night!

TWAS THE DAY BEFORE THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS

We've gone through five different kinds of cookies already.  Not to mention fruit, candy and the cutest donuts ever ... Krispy Kreme miniatures.  I have no idea how my sister finds the most wonderful edibles.  We no longer exchanges gifts so she says it is a "family" gift.  She sent a box of Enstrom almond toffee and my oh my it is the best on earth.  Jesse loves toffee and put's Heath bits on his ice cream every night.  One bite of this Enstrom stuff has me hiding it in the back of the fridge.  Children NOT allowed.

(Yes, I ate that tiny glazed one in the third row)

We've received more Christmas cards this year than in the past.  I let the boys open them and if there is a photo, I tell them the story.  And it's always nice to hear from my dentist and insurance agent.  (Just got my teeth cleaned this morning!). My friend in Maui who I accompanied to Oahu for a lung biopsy (when I volunteered at Na Hoaloha serving the elderly) just sent the most beautiful Jacqui Lawson card.  My return email was instantaneous.  She responded that YES she is still living alone in her 3 story home that has 43 steps to master to go get her mail.  Unfortunately, the cancer metastasized to her brain but has been halted by radiation.  I think she is 88 ... still driving!

I picked up a Honey Baked ham and turkey which is my new tradition.  I always get the bone-in style so we can make soup.  Usually pea soup but I may try black bean soup this year.  Or potato.  It's the soup time of the year.

Kate found the PERFECT job (for her) ... at a local native plant nursery.  Outdoors rain or shine.  Playing in the dirt and starting new plants.  She has found camaraderie with other plant snobs who sneer at lawns and ivy and annuals.  Jesse is wanting to return to being a server at a high end restaurant, but after listening to NPR today and the fast spreading Omicron that blasts through vaccines and booster, as well as learning that there is a new flu strain arriving that is NOT covered by our latest flu shot, I just can't have him getting exposed on a daily basis.  He will continue to be the House Husband extraordinaire.

 

WINTER SOLSTICE

My little thugs!

 

DELIGHTFUL DECOR

The tree and the stories behind each ornament

The master decorators hard at work!

Yes, the boys each wanted a crocodile cookie

My Mom made these stick pony ornaments when Kate was riding

I bought these when I was pregnant with Kate

My girl

My night stand.  

Battery powered candles that go on 

at 5pm and off at 11pm.

 

CANDY CANES and CHRISTMAS COOKIES

The Christmas Season has begun.

Kate is baking cookies every other day and I made a batch of Christmas Crack (it IS addictive) as well as half a batch of white chocolate chip with macadamia nuts cookies.  Inside and outside are both decorated to the hilt.  Despite the emotionally rough year, holiday happiness has arrived.  Tonight they decorate sugar cookies. A Christmas favorite.  One year, while I was in Maui, they were pretty broke and spending $$ on childcare and working too much ... I had a friend make sugar cookies AND four colors of frosting and sprinkles and deliver so that could continue that tradition.  Best Christmas gift I have ever given.

(Kate made those three branch balls)

There are still a few people who send Christmas cards and the boys love asking questions about the sender and finding a place on the fridge to display them.

Saturday morning was Grandma heaven with both boys in my bed for over an hour, laughing and the two of them using my phone and my computer and two iPads playing Roblox against each other.  I browsed through an old cookbook (a favorite hobby) and am inspired to expand their tastebuds.

The littles got their first Covid vaccine and Deacon put his sticker on my fridge.  He had blacked out the wording so it said "I got Covid today".  Hysterical if you're in second grade.  I'm getting my booster on Dec 30, they get vax 2 on Jan 8.

I was interviewed by Paula Span (NYT columnist The New Old Age) about telemedicine and my name got mentioned!!  A "tele-health partisan!"  She was a fabulous interviewer.  I had a televisit that morning with colonoscopy Dr just a "get to know you kind of thing" with questions that weren't on the form.  The office started doing them via internet when Covid hit the scene but they had so many compliments they are keeping it up.

  https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/11/health/telehealth-medicare-covid.html

More good news ... I just purchased Miss Jessies Pillow Soft Curls to put on my semi curly hair.  Everything I have used in the past has been blown off my shelf.  No more crunchy hair, waiting for it to dry and using a hair pick to separate.  This cream left my hair so soft and more natural looking.  Someone is always improving the original mouse trap!

I had my eyelashes tinted so I could skip mascara.  Probably won't do it again.  I don't think it's going to last very long as grey lashes are so coarse.  Plus my natural lashes are short and skimpy so I normally just layer on the mascara so the look longer and thicker.

That's it for today!

NEVERMORE

 Having one of those days ...

GEEKED OUT GRANDMA

So many friends have hobbies.  My sister-in-law makes several quilts a year.  Others knit, cross stitch or crochet.  My sister is a fabulous cook and tries many ethnic kinds of food, mostly vegetarian.  They garden.  Some do photography.  Hiking.  Biking.  You know, actual real world hobbies.

Me?  I've tried all of the above but nothing sticks.  My hobbies are email, blogging, texting, social media, phone calls and volunteering. Now that I've written the words ... I do have a hobby!  Computers.  (I do need to add something physical to this but so far all I do is talk about it).

Discovering new software is thrilling to me.  Currently, I am learning Canva, an online design program that I use for my volunteer job with the food pantry.  To help me learn, I do many of my Facebook posts using Canva.  After a few projects, I upgraded from the free version to have more versatility.  I feel so creative.  Also on my learning curve are Instagram, Twitter and NextDoor.

For more fun, I play Words with Friends with family, friends and new challengers.  Search is a game where you try to find words with a page full of letters ... horizontal, vertical, at an angle and from top to bottom or bottom to top.  My Mom got me started with word games!  (Thanks Mom).

I may even become famous because of my hobby.  This past week I was interviewed by Paula Span, NYT columnist who writes "The New Old Age" column.  She had a post on FB asking if any of us "over 60" peeps if we have had any medical virtual visits and what we liked or didn't like.  I had just had one that morning (initial visit with Doc who will be doing my colonoscopy) so I responded.

Thanks for stopping by and reading!

THE SUFFERING IS OVER

My older brother passed away December 1.  

The Doctors convinced his wife to put him on Do Not Resuscitate on Monday.  He would seem to make improvement for a day or two and then he would be worse.  He's been in ICU since June 28.

Two days later his body went into septic shock.  His wife asked them to try dialysis again but they would not.  

It was his time to go.  

THE DEVIL MAKES HIM DO IT

Deacon will be 8 in early March.  Should he live that long.

He has been ornery since birth and it continues.  Actually, ornery is not the right word, according to the Webster dictionary.  Mischievous is more like it. 

mis·chie·vous

/ˈmisCHivəs/

adjective

1. (of a person, animal, or their behavior) causing or showing a fondness for causing trouble in a playful way.
   

Before he was two, I remember him saying "I not have it" when he was sitting on his brother's special Lego. 

His curiosity shows in so many ways.  Sometimes he makes a "sandwich" of everything on his plate, names it and then eats it.  For instance au gratin potatoes, chicken and asparagus was dubbed "Wednesday Triple Decker.  And he finished off the entire plate.  The other morning he was in the kitchen, smelling all the spices and herbs.  He invited me to join him and then we would vote yes or no if we should use it in cooking.  We didn't dispose of any because sometimes these taste better when cooked in a dish with other food.

Imagination is also a big suit of his.  For a year or two he had an imaginary friend, Jim.  Jim was a pretty good influence on him.  When I heard Deacon whispering I asked what's up?  He shushed me and said Jim was praying to God.  He sometimes has the habit now of saying "oh, god!".  I told him he should say oh gosh and only use God when he is praying or singing praise.  He immediately started singing "Dear God, thank you so much for inventing Roblox.  I love to play it so much."  His innocent little voice was so precious, I had to put my face in my pillow to minimize my laughing.

His stuffed animals are still some of his best friends.  He often asks me to babysit a few and when he returns, I have to tell him tales of what rascals they were and how I had to put them in time out or down for a nap or some such.  He loves knock knock jokes that make no sense to anyone but him. He always gives them a belly laugh!

He does get himself into trouble (a lot).  He sneaked a bag of miniature marshmallows from his parents' room (shelving in their closet is another pantry).  Ate all of them.  Thanksgiving morning, Dad went to get them to put on his sweet potato casserole right before the drive over to his brother's house.  First he looked in their room.  Then the hall pantry. Then the kitchen cabinets.  He was getting irritated and asked both boys (and Mom) if they had seen the marshmallows.  Everyone said no.  Until Dad asked a more direct question of the boys ... did you EAT the marshmallows.  He then fessed up.

His current fun is balloons.  First he would simply bat them around the house.  Then he would challenge us to play volleyball in the hallway.  He draws faces on them, clothespins them to a t-shirt and wrestles around with him until he pops.  Yesterday he went through quite a few balloons so Mom said no more today.  Of course, he sneaked another and thankfully, when he brought it in to me to blow it up, I asked if he had gotten permission.  NEVER MIND, GRAMMA as he huffed out of my cabin.  Next thing we know, he was in the bathroom trying to fill it with water (use your imagination here) and not only got water everywhere, he caused a leak under the sink from the pressure backing up.  He got to mop it all up and Dad was under the sink for a while fixing things.

Despite behaving like Dennis the Menace, he is the happiest kid.  He wakes up singing.  If his brother gets in trouble for something, he tries to take the blame.  He already takes books into the bathroom and one is a child's Bible.

Maybe there is hope ....

ODD TRADITIONS

Yesterday, Thanksgiving, was my usual tradition.  A GREAT bottle of red and a Stouffer's Turkey microwave meal.  This year I was craving more carbs so I made a box of Stove Top stuffing.  I'll have to toss out the rest because I will be too tempted.

If you haven't tried one, they are remarkably good.  And great portion control!

The family went to Jesse's side of relatives but I'm such a hermit.  Usually they stay for at least 6-7 hours and it is too much for me.  For some reason, they were home in 3 hours.  I barely had time to shower, change my bedding, throw in a load of laundry and empty the dishwasher.  I was also on squirrel alert as one got into the area that has five feeders and managed to chew off the plastic branches the birds rest on.  The neighbors must think I'm nuts!   

We have signed up Braeden for math tutoring and I went to the website to sign up for three sessions a week for all of December.  Then transfer to our e-calendar.  Tedious but necessary and glad it's over.

I had a great day and even had a Duraflame log going.  I heard via email or text from all my siblings and a few friends.  My day was complete!

How was your day?

DEAR GOD

My almost 8 year old was playing a video game snuggled next to me in the Bed of all Beds.  He was disappointed in something and said "oh god"!  I gently reminded him that we should use God's name when we are praying or singing praise.  He promptly sang a little song thanking God for video games and cookies and so on. I had to bury my face in my pillow.  He just kept thinking of things to thank Him for.

I am singing (inside my head) thanks that my older brother is at least maintaining his progress.  And now I am praying for my sister-in-law who just found out two weeks ago she has an aggressive form of breast cancer and after a second biopsy on Monday (positive for cancer) she picked a double mastectomy for December 16.

Friday I had a gynecological visit with a new doctor.  Best medical appointment I have ever had!  I arrived 20 minutes early and they took me in immediately.  Once the preliminaries were over I figured I'd be sitting in my nothingness within a thin paper nightie but NOPE, the 13 year old doctor appeared!  Everything looks fine from the outside and she asked if I wanted a PAP test.  Apparently at 65 I no longer need to have them, unless I want one!  I told her I had stayed up all night studying for it (ha ha) so I might as well have it.  I think I'll stay with the annual exam especially because of the lichen sclerosis.

Mammograms are suggested every other year until age 75, then not at all.  I will continue to have one every year as well.  Best to catch it early, in my mind.

Colonoscopy zoom meeting week after Thanksgiving.  Physical therapy starts week after Thanksgiving.  Dermatologist is scheduled for August.  Ta da!  I am all caught up after Covid.

A HOLIDAY MIRACLE

My brother has come back to life!
 

Last week, unbeknownst to his siblings, he started communicating more with Cheryl and medical team.  He can't speak due to ventilator, but he mouths words, moves his head yes and no.  He can tell time as he had to remind Cheryl to leave and meet a service person!

My next youngest sibling (brother) visited today and was blown away.  Mike was joking and alert and very aware of everything around him.  The medical team has kept him at rehab since he is making progress.  PROGRESS!

Physical therapy has started up again.  The PT's move his limbs and get him sitting twice a day.

This is a total miracle.  

This one is missing my brother Dave, 2 years younger than me.  

Mike is in the sailor's uniform.  I think I am probably 19-20

Unbelievable!  All six of us together.  I was 32, I think.

Brother Jim (4 years younger) missing.  

This was my parents' 50th wedding anniversary.  I was 46.

RELAX, REFLECT, RECHARGE

There are so many bad health issues around me.  I'm glad I have scheduled all of my preventative procedures.

Update on my brother from his wife:

Last week the pulmonary team told me that, based on Mike's slow progress, they don’t expect him to ever come off the vent. I asked Mike if he wants to continue living like he is now and he shook his head no (who would?) 

But, because he has made some progress I want to keep him on the vent until we are sure there will be no more progress. When I asked, the nurse practitioner told me that if a patient hasn’t been weaned in 3 months then the chances of them coming off the vent are very low. Given Mike's age, the damage to his lungs and him being immobile and so sick for almost 5 months … his chances aren’t good. After these discussions they changed his setting to spontaneous with pressure support. This means he breathes in on his own and the then the vent helps give him pressure to breathe out. Being on that was a step forward. 

He did well on it for several days and then the Klebsiella pneumonia (common with people with ventilators) came back on Saturday so he’s back on antibiotics for that, sleeps a lot more and hasn’t been on Spontaneous. He did finally get the brain MRI done last week. It showed no abnormalities except for possible atrophy D/T being sick for so long. They told me that, even if he comes off the vent, he will never be back to his baseline physically. He moves his arms some, but otherwise, he's immobile. I know there are always exceptions so that’s why I want to give him enough time so that we know for sure. 

I wish I had better news. Just wanted to let you know what’s going on. Love you all. 

I hope she is listening to the doctors and medical teams.  It seems time to let him go.  She hasn't texted this past week so I'm not sure if he is still in the rehab facility or whether she got him moved to long term care (nursing home).

My next younger brother called yesterday to let me know his wife has breast cancer and severe panic attacks.  She also had a 15 second seizure which so far has not been diagnosed for cause.  She gets her second biopsy tomorrow and then learn how to proceed.  She has already signed up for counseling.  She just retired this summer.  

Upstairs at the condo, my neighbor has stage 4 esophageal cancer. He has chosen radiation and chemotherapy but survival rate is small.  He's the guy with the crazy girlfriend of 8 years and she talked him into putting her name on the Title to his condo.

Two young friends (with children) have been diagnosed with Covid.

I am paying attention to all of these health issues yet remaining positive.  Tuesday I will start 2x week physical therapy to build up knee strength (so I don't cringe when I see stairs) and over all strength.  Hopefully this will inspire me to exercise another two days a week.

This post is a little late as I have been spending a lot of time creating "thankful" posts each day for Facebook (JB Lockhart) and doing some research for Hunger Fighters.  Did you know that Medicare may be going up 15%?  And our "raise" will probably be 6%?  Those who are surviving with Social Security only just never get a break.  In addition, many households have received child tax benefits (my daughter gets $500/month) which end in December.  Our food pantry is gearing up to serve more families.

I am so thankful Mr. Ralph worked until age 75 so that I reap the benefits of a large monthly deposit.  We also participated in matching funds IRAs and he collected social security payments while working past age 70, which we put into savings/stock market.  

Honestly, I am thankful for so much.

 

VACATIONS (recently) PAST

AND THE BEAT GOES ON ....

I hate Daylight Savings Time.  I have yet to talk with anyone who likes it.  So ... WHY are we continuing to do this??  It's time for me to let the people who are in charge KNOW I want it to stay one time or another.  Don't care which.

It does give me an extra hour this week to try to keep building my relationship with our Tween.  He's mostly moody teenager with just enough little kid left in him.  I'm reading lots on how best to live with this change in him.  As well as learning more about sibling rivalry.

I usually retrieve them both from school and ask open ended questions.  Now I start with Deacon as if his brother is being negative, he doesn't always just copy him.  We continue to support our local food pantry although now I say " we need to gather a donation to drop off .... which day would you like to do that?"

I treated the whole family to a weekend at Cannon Beach for Braeden's birthday (teacher parent online conferences so no school Thursday and Friday). Unfortunately, the family cold finally caught me so I didn't invite them to come to my room to spend the night.

We let him open gifts when THEY were finished eating ... 

that's Dad's burger on the table (I was impressed that he asked his little brother

 to choose which gift to open AND let him help!)

Here's the happy boy we don't see so often any more ....

Here's his normal look .... NOT quite a snarl ....

And my new favorite look ... reading for fun!

GOOD HEALTH is NUMBER ONE

Mr. Ralph had a saying that good health is Number One and everything else is a zero (that follows that single digit).  If you don't have that Number One, you don't have anything.

Remember my brother who went to the hospital on June 27?  He's being "demoted" to long term care (nursing home) as he has not made any progress.

From Sister in Law (on Sat):

Hi, I haven’t updated everyone for a couple weeks because things are about the same. The vent weaning is going very slowly … Mike’s been here at Select Specialty Hospital for 8 weeks. And because it’s going so slowly, insurance is wanting him moved to a LTC facility. It’s all about the money. I’m advocating for him with his case manager to keep him here but at some point insurance will probably win. There are just a few LTC facilities in Mike’s insurance plan that do vent weaning and I have to pick one. 

Surgery refuses to do the diverting colostomy, suggested Mike’s bed sore be covered with a wound vac and that was done on Tuesday. It is a good way to keep the dressing sealed around the wound and keep the stool out. The wound nurse says that, per her measurements, the wound is getting smaller. It looks improved to me too. He still sleeps most of the time. PT and OT work with him a couple times a week. It’s mostly for stretching exercises because he doesn’t really participate in getting stronger. They get him up to the chair twice a day for 2-3 hrs. That’s about it. Wish I had better news. I’ll let you know if there are any significant changes. 😘

I texted back:  (as all of the sibling have been asking each other)

Ah gosh. 😕 Have you talked with his doctors about Mike's prognosis?  

This doesn't sound like much of a life for him. Or you. If they are moving him to less care, what happens when 8 weeks go by and nothing has improved .... where do they send him next? What an awful dilemma. 

Call me if you want to talk. I don't want to stress you out but this has gone on SO long with little improvement 😢

And her response:

Yes, I've talked with the docs about Mike's prognosis. They told me from the beginning, and still tell me, it could take a year to get rid of the MAC. Because of the MAC and being on the vent his lungs are stiff and have some scarring. They say his lungs are like a balloon when you first blow air into it. The balloon is hard to inflate. But if you keep disinflating  and reinflating the balloon, the balloon becomes more pliable and easier to inflate. Mike's lungs need time to heal and do the work on their own which the vent wean allows, they gradually turn down the support the vent gives. 

And you're right, it's certainly no quality of life right now but we have to give his lungs a chance. The docs didn't know if his kidneys would recover and they did to the point that he doesn't need dialysis. He's gone from the ICU to the hospital and then will go to the facility. There's no place to go after that but home. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. 

The docs have no idea if he will be able to ever come off the vent. But we need to stay the course for the months ahead before we will know. 🙏🏻🤞🏻 

Of course I cried a bit. OK, a lot.  And this situation has me talking to those around me about end of life decisions for me.  It also has me doing all the preventative procedures.  Now that the pandemic has let up a bit, I have my mammogram, lady bits exam, colonoscopy, dermatology visit and physical therapy lined up.  I signed up for a diabetes management program but they are totally booked up til summer.  My numbers did go DOWN as I have lost 25 lbs.  If I would just make myself MOVE more, I know I could get rid of that remaining 25 lbs.  Which is why Dr V suggested PT.  I especially need to build strength around my fake knees so that I don't dread stairs.  And work on balance.

I still have the lichen sclerosis which is usually not bothersome.  Last week it was horribly painful so I  used the steroid creme daily for a few days, instead of once a week.  The biggest problem is that it has changed the geography down there which causes my urination to go every which way.  No cure but they offer surgery to fix the landscape ... which I will avoid til the bitter end.  I can't even imagine.

SOCIAL MEDIA PESSIMISTS and OPTIMISTS

We probably all have Facebook family/friends/acquaintances who definitely fall into one of those two categories.  I know I do and I just have to "unfollow" the downers and woe is me types, then try to remember to check their page once in a while and make a kind comment.

Several of these people claim they have physical/mental reasons to be so depressed and anti-everything.  As an optimist myself, I think dwelling on the negatives just makes one feel worse.  Honestly ... one  person posts ten times a day and each and every one of the posts is another way to view the worst.  Probably don't like puppies or kittens either.  While pessimism is not classified as a mental disease, I can see where it might lead to one.

I also have some deeply vocal religious folks as well as atheists ... maybe I should introduce them?  One poster has probably shared every verse of the Bible by now ....

Oh I suppose some people don't care for the Pollyanna's of the universe either.  Interestingly, there are so many more synonyms for pessimist than for optimist.  Hmmmm.

And then there are those who are constantly talking about needing money and some have even set up GoFundMe for in vitro and for wanting/needing an apartment as they are living in weekly hotels.  Help me pay for my honeymoon, get my tattoo removed. You name it.

I just need to remember life has both!  Especially on social media.

SUNDAY

 

Sorry, I just have nothin' today!

VACATION 2021

I love sleeping. Always have.  I also try to take a daily 30-45 minute mind-cleansing meditation nap.

The old bed was getting grooves in it and I want to be able to sit up easier while in it.  It is so hard to choose a new bed.  How can you determine its comfort with just a 5-10 minute test?  As I spend so much time in my luxury cabin, I decided to get an adjustable bed so I can sit up and use my laptop or lay flat with my feet elevated.  Or zero gravity sitting!

It also has massage features .... two types of massage and three strengths.  Luckily it also has a timer for 10, 20 or 30 minutes.

It arrived Monday!  I have 120 days to decide if this is THE one or exchange for another.  It's softer than my 11 year old Queen size but I like it so far!

The King sized bed in Maui.

Truly my happy place ... and I stayed with Queen because 

The boys are just sure I need company at night!

They are enjoying the new luxury for reading

Or for video games.

Needless to say, I have to hide the remote!

Unfortunately, this is in lieu of a vacation this year!