(A.D.D side note: That fact, in itself, is pretty AMAZING. This really is a great hobby and I can't believe I am still doing it. Thank you Misadventures of Widowhood for your encouragement to start. Now I have another addiction).
(sorry ... the cat part was so funny to me ... on Meowi)
I'm using this courage to prevent osteoporosis. I'm building up my spine. Currently I am leaning on another blogger (and personal friend first, for a change!) to help me choose my words. Sometimes I am too abrupt and often I apologize ... for nothing. Recently a person I had met once (through a great former neighbor) invited herself for a visit to Maui. In retrospect, three years ago I may have half heartedly suggested she visit Maui. In that time we have NOT built any relationship or friendship.
I decided I didn't want her to live here with me and I didn't want to be a full time tour guide for two weeks. My family and friends are so independent, they mostly go without me (I'm usually invited but I'm such a home body). We share coffee or a meal together most days, and a nightcap with a recap of the day. My kind of hosting! I like to do the inviting!! I want to be in the right frame of mind to show off the islands and all the things I've seen 100 times. So I said:
"I'm not inviting guests to visit. I have enough company with family and close friends in 2017, and my frequent trips to Portland. Glad to check out accommodations for you if you want second opinion!"
Still short and sweet, now that I re-read it. But I feel good that I didn't have to agree if I didn't want to. And I didn't apologize!!
The very next day a friend called (texted) to see if she could come look through her boxes (I am graciously storing a stack in my garage). I had already made plans for the day/time she suggested. So I invited her over for late afternoon and suggested maybe dinner after? She declined dinner as she has out of town guests. I reconfirmed ... but still coming over at 5pm? Yes.
At 5:10, I texted "are you still coming?" as I had to move my car out on the street so she had plenty of space to operate. Yes ... I'll leave here in a few minutes ... and she lives 15 minutes away. SOOO, by the time she did arrive (not the first time she has been late ...) I was miffed. Her explanation (no apology!) was that she had been napping. My look must have said it all ... she asked if I was mad. Well, yes I am really disappointed. She was taken aback. If I had an appt with a friend who was doing me a favor, I would set my alarm. Then she complimented my shirt to which I said thank you ... do you need anything else out here?
This morning she sent me an apology which I quickly accepted. I have another friend who is ALWAYS late. The difference is she always texts or calls before the time to tell me the new and improved schedule, apologizes and ASKS if that will still work for me. And now that I know her MO, I just assume a half hour later than she has chosen!! Usually I ask her to text me when she is in her car .... and then I depart at the same time!
The biggest act of courage this week? I'm moving back to Oregon for a few years to enjoy the littles while they still think Gramma is great fun. Once they are teens (or even a bit before), and roll their eyes at me, I will move back over to Maui. I'm pretty sure I will get summer visits from them then!
COURAGE? or crazy????
Glad you are still blogging. I got a little nervous when I read your first line about maybe you should quit! If you 'aged out of blogging then, maybe I should too and I'm not ready.
ReplyDeleteWhere you live, you'd have to have some firm rules about people who come to the islands. Otherwise, you'd be hosting and touring all the time.
I hate people who don't show up with they say they will! One of my pet peeves.
Wow, that's quit a decision about moving near your grandchild for a couple of years. I'm proud of you. You logic makes perfect sense. Will you find someone to rent your Maui place on a long term lease? Would be hard to rent it to tourists.
I enjoy the yada yada yada of my blog. And people can read if they like.
DeleteI'm leasing to a friend who is spic and span and will probably take better care than I do. And prefers a two year lease! Plus I can come visit every year! I'm just so excited!!
Don't you dare quit blogging!!
ReplyDeleteI don't think it takes courage to move back to Oregon. I think it is the best decision! I may have nudged you in that direction. Those little buggers will grow up so fast and in, what will feel a very short time, they will have NO time for you. So enjoy them now while they think you are the bestest thing that every happened to them. :-) Now is the time for that, before it flits away. Trust me on this. Okay?
Rudeness is rudeness in any order. I think you did a great job with these people and as far as the move...follow your heart, you can't go wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteI, for one, am glad you're choosing to continue blogging. I really enjoy your perspective.
ReplyDeleteMy husband once suggested we move to a vacation area. I told him that we'd never have our house to ourselves. I know that you enjoy your family and friends (especially the grand boys) and that they are easy guests, but I can understand why you would say "no" to an acquaintance. It was a little nervy of her to ask.
I had a friend once who was habitually late - without calling to let me know. I had another friend who would cancel a planed visit at the last minute - sometimes after I'd prepared food. That was a long time ago.
Enjoy those grands as long as you can. I know they will love visiting you in Maui when they are teens. Oh, my gosh. It goes by so fast. My oldest grand is 10 already. Crazy.
Thanks. I love the stream of consciousness blogging. It's a lot about nothing. Shallow thoughts of the day ... but hey! No one has to read it at all!
DeleteThe boys are so cute at these ages. They say the darndest things ... I need to start writing them down ...
I very seldom comment, I have trouble finding the right words sometimes. I love reading your blog. I live very close to my 7 grandchildren but now that they are all in school and the weekends are filled with activities, I don't see as much of them as I used to.
ReplyDeleteJudy
Thanks. Now I know I'm making the right decision. Be there when they are little .... and so BIG in their lives!! 88 more nights til vacation in Oregon!
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