In the beginning of my widowhood, MANY MANY people asked about me dating. So totally too early to even think about. Now a few friends ask but no one is trying to set me up. (P.S. IF I ever want to date, or have help finding dates, I will let you know!)
Every widow progresses at her own rate. My Colorado buddy dated a few years after her mate died. She knew him from way back and she spent a great amount of time getting to know him. Not really as a potential mate, as he wasn't as willing to compromise on life as much as she felt she was, so he is now back to being a good friend. And occasional lover.
A good acquaintance (high school buddy) was widowed for maybe a year or two when she went online to date. She was totally unhappy living on her own ... in fact, had moved in with her brother-in-law and family. She is still working full time (which would keep me busier than I would want to be!) as she is ten years younger.
She met a special someone and they had email conversations and phone conversations and finally a date. Three weeks later she moved in with him. A few months later they married. A year later they are divorced. We chat via email but I'm waiting for her to bring up this topic. Not mine to pry.
I am just not interested. For physical needs, I bought a male order husband from Pure Romance. That's another blog ....
I just don't get the hurry-up-and-get-remarried thing that some widows jump into How can you really get to know someone in just a few weeks? Not for me. Don and I worked to hard to get what we had and I'm not going to chance losing it to some guy who may or may not have been putting on a good act.
ReplyDeleteMoney certainly is a concern ... more than that ... I think I would just feel AWKWARD putting my old wrinkled body out there ...
DeleteI knew my 2nd husband 3 months, when we married.He was kind, loving and well balanced, until our wedding night--when he gave me my first black eye--took my car and left me in a hotel room alone for 26 hours. I have used the phrase above often. DO NOT ever marry because of fear or loneliness!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my! How quickly did you get rid of THAT? I have had two wonderful husbands. It just feels right to not jinx that!
Delete"Not mine to pry" is prudent. I have an elderly aunt who asks the questions that no one else would. She doesn't know any better, but that's another story. I remember when, about a year after my sister's husband died, she asked her if she was seeing anyone. I silently gasped. She was my sister, but I never asked her. I knew she wasn't anywhere near ready. She did meet a great guy eventually. I'm not sure why people think they can weigh in on such things. I'm sure they think they're "helping."
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