It's been almost six months since my husband died. What a crazy six months it has been. I think I've been on autopilot as I barely remember things. I'm kinda embarrassed.
This week I've been back in Oregon, my home of 30+ years. Since I had just spent over a month with my grandson and two weeks with my daughter, I'm more focused on meeting up with my friends. I cannot believe how happy I have been. Just having a little face time with buddies has cheered me immensely. THIS is what I'm missing in Maui.
I'm also remembering how much MORE there is here. More educational opportunities. More socializing. More community events. More movie theatres, museums, exhibits, conferences, retail. I can plan a little getaway every month or two ... the desert, the mountain, the coast, Seattle, wine country. I can afford to fly to the midwest to visit family. Or elsewhere to visit friends! Target, Trader Joe's and Apple stores.
But the weather. Nine months of cold and wet. Three months of heaven.
What to do? I know if I had my sidekick, we could have built a little retirement life. Anywhere. But now I know I don't like to be alone. I want the choice of making plans from a pool of 100 rather than a pool of 5. I don't think I have the patience to build up my own village. Not by myself.
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I know how hard it's been for me trying to decide whether to move to the other end of town or not. So I can't imagine what it's like for you trying to decide between two beautiful and entirely different states! I also know that when they advice not to make decisions until your first year is widowhood is in your past...that that is very good advice. The decide I would have made at the 3 months or 6 month points is not the same one I would make today. I'm fortunate I don't have to make one based on money. So I'm taking my time even now to get it right.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like EVERY decision is difficult to make. I constantly second guess myself. This where to live one I know is big and I won't decide for several more months. Luckily I have enjoyed off and on living in paradise and in January, it will be one whole year of living on Maui.
ReplyDeleteThankfully I heeded the advice about waiting on decisions. You are SO right about what seemed like a perfect solution 3 months ago really wasn't! Even though the Maui house is pretty self sufficient, the Oregon condo has even LESS responsibility homeowner-wise.
I'll keep making my list of pros and cons.