Lately sales people are calling me "Miss". I kinda like that! Well, whatever you want to call the Over 65 Bunch, my friend Joan is at the top of my list. Her husband and my husband were next door neighbors since birth, in a small town in Indiana. Over the years they lost touch with each other but rekindled their friendship after Mr. Ralph's father died. They came to Portland (they were living in an over-55 home community in Florida) when Bob was competing in quartet singing. I met Joan then and since women seem to be better at keeping in touch, we began our email and phone call friendship. We visited them in Sun City.
Her husband died (on New Year's Eve) and a few years later, their two daughters convinced her to move closer to one of them (North Carolina or southern California). That in itself is a LOT of work for an 80 year old. She chose NC although that daughter is not the nurturing or compassionate type ... but Joan wanted the least costly cost of living. She bought a HOUSE in a tiny town (West Jefferson NC, population 1,300) thirty minutes from daughter (population 1,300). (Who in their right mind would encourage an 80 year old to buy a two level house?) She had to find new doctors, hair salon, grocery stores and BRIDGE players. In her old neighborhood, everything was walkable. West Jefferson NC you have to drive everywhere. Nothing was very convenient but she adapted just fine. Except for having to wear a sweater all the time!
Needless to say, she saw Jayme once a month. The house and yard work was too much and she was snowed in several times for days. The girls next talked her into a "senior living and retirement" center. Over an hour and a half from NC daughter! I talked with her a bit and her explanation was that she didn't see Jayme much anyway, she needed to retire from driving, loves the rural setting but needed the convenience. Winston-Salem is bigger (doctors, hospitals, specialists, you know). If I ever move from my cozy nest, it needs to be graduated care until the end ... no more moving for me!)
I shouldn't have worried! This independent community allowed her to spend the day, spend the night, eat at their dining room and leave around noon the next day. EVERYONE was very welcoming. Residents invited her into their apartments to see furniture arrangement, etc. Most everyone there plays bridge. She LOVED the food.
Practically everything is included for just $2,300 per month!
Her view is of the trees and creek. And she has a balcony!
Now when I call, I have to leave a message and it takes days for her to call me back. She is an Amazing Senior Adult.
Glad it if finally working out for your friend. Moving close to family doesn't always work out. They are so busy these days and patterns are already set.
ReplyDeleteWhen I turn 80, assuming the dog is gone by then, I will get serious about relocating.
They didn’t help her sell big furniture. She arranged the movers. She packed a lot of things. I can’t imagine letting my Mom do it all on her own. I sure do like my location, ranch style and walkability. It’s getting a little more crowded with growing boys.
DeleteI've been thinking the same thing... when I do decide to move from my house to another permanent place, I too think that I'll move into a graduated care facility. I'm glad your friend was able to take care of herself and find a place that suits her and not have to depend on her daughters. Good for her!
ReplyDeleteMy good friend, Grandpa George moved into a nonprofit, owner managed retirement facility ... from totally independent to nursing home. It was a buy-in sort of place, with monthly fees to cover utilities, 24 hr nurse on site, assisted living, dementia unit and nursing home. Best part? If you ran out of money, you didn't have to move. Although it's located in downtown Portland, I would probably consider Terwilliger Plaza for that very reason.
DeleteI could manage a move and I'm only shy of 80 by three weeks, but I'm not moving. This place is perfect for me.
ReplyDeleteWe do what we have to do, that's for sure. She LOVES the dining room and every single meal. There are four choices each meal and you can order half size. I talked with her yesterday and she is going to sell her car ... hasn't used it once in over two months!
DeleteShe just discovered she is the second youngest resident ...