END OF 2013

My girlies left a couple of hours ago, after a really short and sweet visit from Portland.  They both got pretty good tans so they have a souvenir .... for a few days anyway.

Now I'm allowing myself to be sad.  It's so helpful to be around friends (including family!) because even though I miss Mr. Ralph, it's more in the background.  But this afternoon he's right in front of me.  With all of our good memories.

In the beginning, for New Year's Eve, we'd go out with crowds.  I especially remember one with Russ and Janna Brown at Black Butte.  Wall to wall people yet we had a blast!  He was always in the mood to dance.  ONLY on New Year's Eve!  After Kate, we were mostly celebrating at home.  We'd change our clocks so she would think it was midnight!!  We watched Forrest Gump, whether we were at home or on a mini Oregon vacation.  When she got a little older, we enjoyed being with other families and playing games.  A few years were spent on vacation on Maui and the party was by the pool.  For a couple of years, we were the drivers so Kate could party!  

To ring in 2010, before cancer, a friend gave us his reservations at Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood.  This was one of my favorites.  Just the two of us!  Not a care in the world.  He was retiring at the end of the month and we were headed for a three month sabbatical on Maui. We were totally snowed in for the few days we were there and got a break the day we had to drive back home.

This year I'm undecided.  I might just enjoy myself by myself.  I bought a bottle of Prosecco.  Some tasty (and rather healthy) snacks ... baba ghanoush (eggplant and garlic spread), tofu egg salad (my fav) and some ahi poke (marinated raw tuna). 

Don't worry.  While I will be missing him and probably crying a little, it won't be a pity party!  Just good old fashioned grieving.

OUTDOOR COOKING

The best thing about having visitors?  Getting to cook!  Sharon and M'Linda are both single so the joy of cooking isn't always there.  Same for me.

As a threesome, it is so much more fun.  We are having a nice healthy breakfast at home, every day except today.  Lunch is usually at the beach.  Dinner?  At the Weber.  

One night we had seared ahi on a bed of super greens with  wasabi vinaigrette.  M'Linda brought THREE amazing bottles of Pinot Noir which have all paired up better than I would have imagined.

Last night was Indonesian chicken on the grill.  Which sounds exotic and gourmet, right?  The recipe is from Ina Gartner and has very very few ingredients ... just needs to marinate for four hours or longer (longer would have been better ... as she had used swordfish.)  Easy peasy.

This time asparagus with a dash a fresh lemon juice.  I tried a friend's idea of cooking rice in coconut milk and BAM!  In love with that.

Tonight we are splurging and heading out to a popular place (Hali'imaile General Store) for a special treat.  Then a farewell gathering before they depart Tuesday afternoon.  Thai chicken (thighs) in the crockpot!  So we won't have to miss a moment of beach time.  We've invited two other friends ... one bringing and appetizer and one bringing dessert so we are covered.

The BEST part of all this cooking?  Sharon and M'Linda do the dishes and clean up!

MAUI NO KA 'OI

This phrase, Maui no ka 'oi means "Maui is the best."  I have to agree!

Sharon and M'Linda arrived late Monday afternoon.  Here it is Friday and I haven't written a blog all week!  Because we are having fun.  We go to a different beach every day.  Even though I am not a sun worshiping lady, every other day I pick a beach that has a shady area for me.  

Christmas Eve was a little party for ladies ... snacks and wine and stories and laughter.  Christmas day I grilled Chilean sea bass as well as asparagus, red onion slices, potatoes and cherry tomatoes.  It was beautiful, Christmas colors and quite tasty.  M'Linda brought THREE bottles of wine in her suitcase so we enjoyed a Boedecker Pinot Noir that was fabulous.

Last night we made festive pomegranate martinis.  This morning we went on a two hour whale watch.  We did get to see quite a few whales but none were very close.  February is the best month for lots of close up action.  I've been on many whale watching trips in Maui and I learn something new every time!  Today's biologist informed us that the whales arrive in a staggered progression .... young males followed by older males, ladies with yearlings then pregnant whales.  This is both a birthing place and a breeding place.

Tonight we are going to the Kihei monthly festivities featuring craft vendors and food vendors.

Maui no ka 'oi!

DIET OF THE DAY

It's been interesting to remember all of the eating trends throughout my adult life.  I think the first one I remember (mainly for the scandal afterwards) was The Scarsdale Diet.  A very rigid regime allowing only certain foods at certain meals.  
Then I started thinking about so many more that were a fad for a while but seem to vanish after a year or two.  Cabbage soup diet.  Atkins.  South Beach.  The Zone.  Mediterranean Diet.  Eating for Your Blood Type.  And then the Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, etc kind where you have to buy their food.  Yuck.  I actually tried Nutrisystem ... for two weeks.  Double yuck.

But now the trend seems to be "gluten free."  Unfortunately, many people who have jumped on this are NOT doing it for health reasons.  People who HAVE celiac suffer dire consequences even with just a teaspoon of wheat or other offending food in a big recipe.  The trendy people who make all sorts of noise and commotion about "remember, I am gluten free" often enjoy a slice of bread while dining with me.  Um ... that's not gluten free, you are just following a FAD.  "Just one piece of pie" means you are not GF.  Just sayin.

The only "diet" I think has stood the test of time?  Weight Watchers.  And I need to get back on it.

SPUR OF THE MOMENT

In the past, I haven't been very good about spur of the moment activities.  I like to be at my best, physically and mentally, to be social.  Fresh from a shower.  Clothes that make me feel good.  A good hair day.  And time to wrap my blond head around the event.

Widowhood is changing my thinking.  This week I had two opportunities to meet up with a friend on the spur of the moment.  

Just as I was finishing my first cup of coffee, Nancy called and with just a bit of panic in her voice, asked if she could come over and take me out for coffee.  She is in the middle of a huge home renovation and I think things were finally getting to her.  I warned her that I hadn't showered, had bed head hair and was dressed like a wash woman.  And I went.  Turned out to be a great day, thanks to the start of my day.  She is the closest thing I have to a big sister.

Today, Leslie called first thing in the morning with some big heavy happenings to discuss.  My advice is always free and I feel like she is my little sister ... going through things that happened to me many moons ago.  Later in the day, after her hubby left for work, she called to see if I wanted to run errands with her.  She is always so interesting to talk with (not always the superficial chit chat) so I cast aside my plans to make spaghetti and meatballs and said YES!  We ran her errands then decided to bring home Chinese for dinner.  And continued our conversation about husbands (she's a newlywed), girlfriends, cooking, Maui, kids, holidays, new apps, good books to read and other important world problems.

Yep.  I'm learning to be spur of the moment!

FAMILY TIME

My daughter is growing up.  

Through her journey of motherhood (Braeden is now 3 ... baby boy #2 due March 11) she is being much much nicer to me.  Best of all, she indulges my grandmotherliness.  She texts me photos and cute little videos.  She calls about once a week to do Facetime.  Braeden now "gets it" that he can take the phone and show me things.  Wanna see my dog?  It is so much fun to have little conversations with him.

I've been mailing him a letter (with a balloon or some stickers or some tattoos) about once a month.  I guess I need to bump it up a little since has asked for some mail!!  I made a little 4x6 photo album with a few photos of him with Poppa, me and Poppa and of course, some gecko photos.  Now I can send him a photo inside his letter.

Even though I'm not spending Christmas with them, for the first (and last) time, I still get to enjoy the little moments.

GOOD NEIGHBORS

In the early days of this blog, I've mentioned a few of the weird neighbors I have on Maui.  A few are more than weird ... kinda scary and vengeful.  Today I'd like to share about a few wonderful neighbors.

Right next door are Chelsea and Brent and their three youngsters, 10, 8 and 6.  I have so much fun with them.  They allowed me to have a couple of months to myself and now that they know I'm doing okay, they invite me to join them.  Chelsea started a Tuesday night sunset group at our closest beach.  Mostly young couples with young children but I enjoy it all the same.  Interesting conversation and lots of wine!

Last night Chelsea invited me to dinner at a fancy restaurant where I have never been.  She invited another friend.  We shared an appetizer and two meals (buy one get one FREE).  Despite our age difference, we chatted for hours!  And the food was yummy.

Bob and Paula have been our friends since we bought our house here in 2010.  They were both invaluable during Mr. Ralph's health journey.  And so they have been steadfast in getting me through my grief.  We invite each other out for lunch every other week or so.  I have them over and they have me over.  Best of all, they can do ANYTHING, so they are my handy couple.  I keep a list going so if/when they ask if I need anything done, I can text it right to them.  

Today Bob fixed my guest room closet door, the stopper in the guest bathroom, installed another outdoor camera, and changed the timer on my outdoor lights (so they stay on until 11pm). In less than 30 minutes.  Tomorrow they are doing my yard work!  I avoided it the past 8 months and now it's overwhelming.  Plus he thinks I have a water leak somewhere so tomorrow he is meeting with the water dept (my meter is locked so he couldn't test things).

Tonight I took them out to dinner for their Christmas gift!  I'm so grateful to have some great neighbors!